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Thursday, October 25, 2012

Wrong mental state

When I'm quiet...

Everyone is worried sick about me.

When I smile...

Everyone thinks that I conceal my sadness.

When I laughed...

Everyone thinks I hide my pain.

When I cry...

Everyone wants to cry with me.

When I have fun...

Everyone keeps a lookout for me.

When I play...

Everyone is worried that I might hurt myself.

When I get crazy...

Everyone knows that I need to unleash.




Don't you think that I'm troublesome?
Don't you think that I'm a troublemaker?
Don't you think that I'm difficult to handle?




Why care for me knowing this is the way I am?
Why love me so much even if I'm problematic?
Why being protective of me even if I'm a nuisance?



 
Aren't you all sick and tired of me?
 
What do you even like about me?




I seriously don't understand what I've done to deserve all these.



Finally, someone said...
Just because I'm fun and crazy, I don't deserve trust. That makes me a bad company. Fine, so be it.
 
It's not entirely wrong either.

 

Stay away from me and be protective all you want. I don't give a damn about anything. You screwed my day, I'll screwed yours. You fucked my life, I'll fucked yours.

I have no obligations to make explaination to you. I'm the organiser of the event and I have every right to decide who to come. I may not be the one who made invitation. Well, as long as I'm not comfortable, I have every rights to reject. Alternatively, I have every rights to accept as long as I'm satisfied with the plan.
 
 

So what if I used the wrong word?
So what's the big hooha about it?
So what if I decided not to let you come?

Are you the organiser?



Just shut the fuck up then.




Awww, discomfort. Don't make you discomfort into MINE. I'm seriously not in the mood to make you comfortable.



Do you think it's easy to organise big group events?
Do you think it's easy to persuade everyone to pay 68 bucks just for fun?
Do you think it's easy to do confirmation and purchase big bulk entrance tickets online?
Do you think it's easy to coordinate with the timing that suits everyone?
Do you think it's easy to text them one by one just to make sure everything is going on smoothly?

FUCK YOU if you think it's easy.

Just because of your unhappiness, you don't allow her to go. So, I'm supposed to make full refund huh. Or am I suppose to beg and please you making excuses to explain myself. Well, I tried alittle, but you don't appreciate. Let's turned things ugly then. I'm good at it.

Just because of your discomfort with existence of guys, you made hurtful remarks to me and still refuse to apologize. Perfect then. Oh well, I play hard and have all the fun in my hand. That makes me a crazy bitch huh. You don't trust your gf hanging out with me because of your uncomfortability.
 
 

You don't trust me or your gf?

Who the fuck am I to you? Do I need your trust? FUCK OFF.



If your gf is good, she is good, she will be good. She will not be leaded astray just because imma bad influence. It's what she wants, not something I can force her. If you experience any discomfort, that's your fucking problem. Simply because you are nothing to me.



So what if...

You hangout with other girls, and somehow, somewhat, you portrayed yourself as a fucking casanova.

Should I tell this to my friend...

OH FUCK, he's a fucking bastard. He's cheating on you. Stop hanging out with him, dump him right now.



NO!!!



Because, I don't tell my friend what to do. It's her decision and I respected her.



How about you?

You stop her from hanging out with me.



I just can't believe this fucking shit going on during my happiest moment. Seemed like you screwed my day. Let's wait and see...
 
Despite the numerous pain you incurred on her, I had never directed her to dump you the instant. Instead, I even gave her allowance of time to think through before she made her decision.

Say I'm crazy, I don't care. I'm not upset about the way you see me. I'm just upset that you told my friend that I cannot be trusted. That really hurts.



True, I'm not in the right mental state (I just can't believe these fucking words came from your filthy mouth, hinting me mentally unstable when I'm just pissed. What do you even know about me? Who the fuck are you to make this speech? Or should I post in in Facebook and let people judge? You'd watch your mouth and wash it with bleach). Should I be?



I doubt so. I have every rights not to be in the right mental state. Even if I am, I chose not to be. I like to play wild and crazy. For your information, it's not easy to be someone able to play. It requires guts to do so. I'm just a girl, gauge my level of guts then.

It's higher than yours, loser.

I love hanging out with big groups. I have the capability to make plans and ability to keep the atmosphere going. It doesn't mean I like you just because I talked to you. In fact, I hate you to core for the pain you inflict on my friend. I had never voiced it out in front of her because I respected her decision and had no intention of leading her. To me, you are still a FUCKING ASSHOLE. I never welcome you in the first place.


DO I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT LOUD?

Or you simple little brain work too slow to catch my message?


Respect has to be earned not by talk.

I don't need a FUCKING ASSHOLE to judge me.

True, I'm crazy. Last Saturday night is just an appetizer. You just haven't seen my complete potential. It's time for you to witness what I really can do. Since you called me crazy, I'll show you what's crazy. Enjoy staying home with your fucking mind blow up then. Tata!

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