Chemistry never exist

I had been going through a really tough time lately. Things just happened naturally and hit me like a bullet train with no notice. I tried to absorb, grasping for air, holding my breathe. It gave me a big knocked out and I woke up, still, without sense of direction. I'm not a perfectly nice girl, there were times I do things like a bitch (without a choice). Frankly speaking, I try my best to hurt no one because I believe it pays to be kind.

 

I never expect any return for being kind because kindness is a priceless gift. I always learn to give. I exchanged with my deepest sincerity, and got mistreated in return. No one's to be blame for it. This is just way too unexpected. Most of the time, I appeared to be happy and optimistic not because I really am, neither am I being a hypocrite. I concealed myself to be. I just refused to add on to the negativity of my friends. I tried my best to give them the best encouragement of words and best of comfort. I don't expect anyone to be grateful at all. Being mistreated mentally is a torment.

 

Everyone has a scar within, so do I.

 

But people failed to see that at times.

 

My scar was deep, but my smile concealed the scar with ugly and horrendous stiches.

 

I used to have a scar in my heart, it was bad, deep and bleeding profusely. It took me a long time to stitch it back without external aid. Time healed me completely and then I thought I was healthy again. Just then, the wound was ripped opened with brutal force. Deeper than ever, infection arised eventually. I know it hurts and it's making me hard to believe in a thing called love.

 

I felt gullible than ever, foolish and clueless about things going on.

 

The pain remains but I will not give up just because of a terrible experience. My faith stand still and I still believe. I will not stop caring over a tripping rock. I will not stop concerning over a hiccup. In fact, I will care and concern more than ever. I want to prove to people around me that there's no dead end in a road. Even if there is, we build the road ahead us. We build destiny and not let it ruin us. I'll show everyone that my determination to care and concern can melt every single ice wall because love is in the air.

 

Love is free, but you need to prove you worth to earn it.

 

The only love that I stopped believing is called Chemistry of Love.

 

I thought I know and understand, but I don't actually. I just came to realised that it was never there, never once, will never be.

 

Feelings can mislead a person. Chemistry causes wrong judgement.

 

I will never believe in Chemistry again. It's too painful to stitch the deep cut for a second time and I just can't afford to try anymore. I'm tired.