Treasure box

In a whirl mind, pondering to myself the real definition of "Someone special". Out of curiosity, I googled for its meaning. There's a vast variety of definition.

 

It could be someone who holds a place in heart, placing joy into heart, giving a sense of security. Whereas, it can also be someone not a lover, not a friend, but just someone that means alot. The meaning is confusing. It's just a thin line in between.

 

Have you met someone special who tried to work his/her way to your heart when you've got no feeling for him/her?

 

And suddenly, he/she gave you hope. Despite the gaps and differences, you started to accept because it's your first time believing in chemistry. Out of the blue, he/she decided to take a step back and withdraw from the game instantly with no notice. It's like, you were given a hope and your hope was taken away.

 

You believed that, he/she is not what you thought to be. Deep inside, you trust his/her character and wished to believe even when the facts are crystal clear. It turned into confusion and your trust level drop to the bottom. Insecurity increased and defense level went up immediately. You felt like being toyed, or being just a toy with expiry date.

 

The feeling was terrible and you felt that your pride was badly hurt, brought down and humiliated. You wish to cry and you came to realise that your tears are just too precious. Holding on, the layer of water blurred your vision. You put in priceless effort not expecting any return, but suffered devastation in quiet. You felt like you are just nothing but a healing tool.

 

If you are unable to fulfil the hope, why give the hope in the first place?

 

You felt like your sincerity was taken for granted and trampled upon. The unwillingness to give crossed your mind. Still, you know that you can never be that unfeeling. You know you can never shut off from the world and be insincere to people around. You tried hard not to be kind, but the kindness overwhelmed like a demon inside.

 

You had been hurt as well earlier on and you know that there's a wound inside of you. No one mend the wound for you, but yourself. Now, you turned into a temporary substitute to mend other's wound. Sincerity is a priceless gift. It's been trampled upon and wasted now.

 

Being tried was an awful insult even though the problem doesn't lie in you.

 

The trust is fading away, the special thing vanished and your heart turn cold.

 

Despite the numerous warmth surrounding you, you just knew that things changed, as cold as ice.

 

You know it's a heartfelt issue and you should get on your feet. You tried hard to stand tall, but your sadness brought you down. Faking a smile, putting up a brave front not worrying the others is a torment. You can never let your guards off when you are in a shoot. You are 24/7 on standby and you can only release when there's no one around. It's just tearing you apart.

 

Once bitten, twice shy, you've learnt a valuable lesson. You concealed your feelings in a treasure box and burried it under the deep blue sea once again. You never wish to reopen the box because your pride hurts.

 

Miracle never exist, it's just the effort of trying.

 

Even so, your principles remain despite the pain. 

 

Time heals wound. You are strong, and you will be that tough girl. Just believe that your determination shines across and your brave upfront will take you somewhere, someday.

 

P/S: Just a random post, random thoughts, random story