Be brave

I'm feeling so helpless now. I'm on the recovery mode (Yay! Finally!) yet some of my friends were down. I'm so sad because I had no idea what I can do to help them. Well, I may not be of help in their darkest moment but I wish to make them feel better mentally and physically. Lately, I had been busy with thoughts about ways to cheer them up.

 

All the messages sent to them were done (pre-type) days (As long as 5 days, unbelievable huh?) in advance. The memo pad in my Blackberry is flooded with messages scheduled to be sent every night and morning. It was in such a big mess that I was so afraid that there might be repetition sent across. Paranoid about it, I tried to be careful and read through again and again before I press the send button. I always get wobbly leg (I'm serious, I'know you not gonna believe it. Trust me, it's for real) after sending. My heart pounded like drums and I was nervous when they replied. I was afraid that they might scold me, or their replies might disappoint or hurt me. It's a hidden fear.

 

The reason why I organise them in my memo pad is because I want to get the right message across. I can edit a simple msg for as long as 20 minutes. I try not to have repetition content because I want to be sincere in my doings. Repeating jokes might irritate them further. Every night before I hit the bed, I'll google for riddles and jokes. (Oh gosh, I even did note taking) Otherwise, I'll try to think of related jokes between our connection. It's hard to explain what that is. Ok, I'll explain it in generic term. In every friendship, there's bound to be a connection, there must be a certain joke or topic relevant. I will make use of that as a point. Sometimes, I'll share the stupidity of my day to cheer them up a little. It's embarassing, but why not if I can cheer them up. Last night, I even drew. Oh gosh, I can't believe that. I drew a smiling whale, a mouse and a sunflower for my friends. I took a snapshot and sent it to them.

 

Well it takes two hands to clap, not everyone appreciate that effort. I don't blame them and I'll just keep trying. I'll be happy if they appreciate my thoughts someday and show me some positive feedbacks. Unfortunately, their replies can be real short if they had a bad day or not appreciating my effort.

 

 

 

 

Oh c'mon, I'm drawing. Show me some positive feedbacks even if it's ugly pls...

 

Feel like banging the wall when I drew.

 

 

 

 

I'll feel like it's the end of the world for just seconds, picturing a dark grey cloud raining over me. 

 

 

 

"Let it rain over me...."

 

 

 

Not a good timing to sing. It just the split seconds anyway. My determintation is strong, I will make it (Huhuhuhu...) I'll just try harder to break the ice (No choice, either). At the same time, I'm so afraid that I might irritate them. I will try to do anything that makes them happy even at the risks of being scolded or showered with ice-water (which I always get from a particular case and I think I'll catch a flu soon).

 

 

Huhuhu, you had no idea how frightened I am doing these. Sincerity touches the heart SOMEDAY, SOMEHOW, SOMEWHAT.

 

I believe in effort! Muahahaha ~

 

Cheer,

Pzy