Mask

I finally have the chance to pamper my cracking face. Then I realized I got 20 sheets of mask. Why the hell am I buying mask always when I hardly apply?

A minute of happiness

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it’s harder every time. You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You’ll fight with your best friend. You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did. You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures. Laugh too much and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll ever get back.

Epic countdown

31st December 2013

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

 

Happy New Year ♥ It's a really belated post. I'll probably post randomly from now because there are still many more folders of peektures. It's really crazy photo narcissism. My camera is dying soon, maybe not now for the time being. It's just a matter of time.

 

#Belvedere

 

We had quite a number of us that night. We wanted to hold celebration at Zirca. Unfortunately, there were too many of us and we were unable to get a table. We settled at Play House instead. No dance floor, sigh. Rantssssssssss.

 

#Me

 

#New Bartender

 

Poor Edm serving many at one go. Javen said that Edm used to be a bartender, but the drinks he made tasted like crap especially when he was drunk. I feedback to him about the strong taste. He gave me another which I thought it's gonna be better. It turned out worse. Lol, I forced it down my throat and declared dead after a while.

 

#Qian, Mw, Sop, Me

 

It should be a happening night because many of us got drunk. I can't remember much about that night. According to Eugene, I had been offered many drinks and having ppl toasting to me. Eugene, Javen and Bran drank for me. Even so, I still drank alot that night. Next, I woke up at Chinatown outside a hotel in the middle of the road on Wang's lap. It was really epic because I had no idea how I gotten myself there.

 

#Output

 

Wang was worn-out and tired because of Bran and I. Bran was lying on the other side of his lap when he sat up. I nearly laughed to death because of his epic face. I wanted to post it in FB, so tempted. Bran raised objections to that idea. His face had been drawed with eyeliner. He had whiskers, black nose, beard and moustache. It was definitely an epic drawing. I pointed at him and laughed heartily like a mouse when Eugene looked at me with an epic look. He wasn't laughing at Bran but me.

 

I asked him who was the nasty one to transform Bran into a kitty. Wang paused for a while and asked me if I remembered what happened. Well, I don't remember. Wang laughed and told me that I was the one who drew his face. So, I was the nasty one. Frankly speaking, I suspected that I had been pranked. Then Javen sent us photos of us posing with Bran with an eyeliner in my hand.

 

Good game, I knew I was the one. Even so, I refused to admit because they could have been the ones who planted the eyeliner in my hands when I was drunk.

 

#Happy New Year

 

Eugene then updated me that Bran was drunk and crying away like a baby. Tsk tsk. I was drunk and high. I fell asleep on Eugene's lap not long after drawing Bran's face at the taxi stand near Rebel when he was totally drunk. Oh ya, unconscious shall be the best term. I fell asleep for less than 5 minute and woke up forgetting what I had done. I was pointing at Bran's face laughing loud and heartily in the public at his face where everyone was looking. Mw told me that some passer-bys took photos of it.

 

I was the joke of that day while Bran was the victim of my joke.

 

Everyone laughed when they saw my output. Classic!

 

#Bran, Jayne, Ben, Me

 

#Saving in progress

 

Eugene wanted to check-in at a hotel. Unforunately, fullhouse. We sat outside the hotel while waiting for Jimmy to save us. Eugene was really a nice-nice guy. Full marks for him that night. Jimmy drove us to Eugene's place. I dared not go home in that state, messy hair and makeup. My mum would kill me. I stayed at Eugene's place that morning. We even had steamboat gathering the following night.

 

In my point of view, it was a happening fun night. More to come pls, lol. Interesting photos circulating among our group. It was really epic. Hey, it's good to be happening. We are simply adding colours to our life. Awesome.

 

Last but not least, I'm really grateful to Eugene for clearing our corpse that night.

 

Have a nice day a head.

Cheers,

Pzy

Candy Crush

Life is like a game of Candy Crush. It started off simple, learning, but as time goes by, it becomes difficult till a point of time we get pissed for trying so hard that we felt like giving up. What seems difficult can be solved if one can spent time thinking about the bigger picture and moving forth instead of moving aimlessly hoping for miracle to happen. You have no one to blame when you got stucked because your life is your choice.

Doraemon

This looks so cool. I want a room like this too.

Delivery

On my to the hospital, 26th January 2013. Goodies bag delivery from my place is ridiculously far.

Do you ever

Shameless

One more "SHAMELESS" from your fucking damn mouth, I'll make you die a terrible death. We shall see, who's the real shameless bitch. I'll make sure you guggle a big bottle of Listerine and gulp it down with the bottle itself for you are the worst evil bitch I ever witnessed in my entire life. You can continue with your manipulation for I don't care about your fucking doings. I'll not back off if you ever dare to cross the line for I will burn you alive in hell.

 

Karma will find its way to you. We shall just wait and see.

 

I can never be as shameless as you. I live with proud and pride unlike you, who ain't truly living but just merely existing. You survived by manipulating people around you. I survived because I strive hard and earn respect with kindness.

 

If I am a bitch, that's not gonna make you a better bitch.

 

You can go ahead stalking my FB's photos or my other information for I don't give a fucking damn about it. It must be a pain in your ass watching how I rock my life. Get a life please and stop being wary about me for I have no intention of stooping low to get what I want, just like you. I'll never be like you. I have pride unlike you. My pride is priceless. Unfortunately, yours is worthless. You should yell louder over the phone and shatter the hp screen if you have the capability for I am looking forward to watch you do it. No one is leeching on, but you being paranoid or low self confidence.

 

Shut your gap and get gone. You are just a piece of plastic. I might not be a saint, but I am not fake at least.

 

 

...last but not least

 

 

BEAUTY COMES FROM HEART

 

 

Spin the phone

Idiot! Bombard my phone non-stop.

I'll spin your phone and flush it into the toilet bowl real soon.

Roarrrrrr!

Manipulation

Manipulation can drive a man crazy and turn a man into a puppet. I will not believe so if I hadn’t heard that with my own ears by an unexpected chance. The awful screams and uncouth languages induced our sympathy for the living puppet. It ain’t living but merely existing. Opting for an easy way out, agreeing to untrue defamation. That man disappoints everyone utterly, living the life of a puppet with wide eyes shut, lying through his teeth. We have pride and backbone at least. The puppet left us wordless. All the best.

I may not hear the the entire conversation, a part of it is more than enough. It is more than enough to tell what was going on. You are being soft hearted following instructions as blind as a bat. You have no freedom of speech. You allowed her to scream without a valid reason. You were so afraid of her that you kept mum throughout without correcting her even when she was wrong.

 

It's a shame to know you.

 

Be a man, not a coward who conceal your real feelings and untold true facts.

 

Are you afraid to say? or Are you afraid to admit?

A thousand years

I finally found something that I really wanna do. I hadn't been practising my fingers on piano for quite a while. Fortunately, I had some breaks in between this afternoon. I played a few of my favourites pieces. It's a little rusty by now. No worries, I am confident that I can learn it well. I learn it for almost a decade and it covers 90% of my life since I was 4. It is definitely a waste to give up. I gonna spend my next Friday morning practising this piano piece. I gonna learn "A Thousand Years" on the piano. I want to learn "Beautiful in white" but I was unable to find a nice version. I'll probably have to visit Christofori if I happen to pass by. My mum's ear gonna hurt. Too bad for her.

 

Expired Xmas

22nd December 2012

We wish you a Merry X'mas and a Happy New Year

 

I had a long and tiring day at Plaza Singapura for Jason's blessing event. Rain and shine through the day. I got wet in the rain and dried myself under the hot sun. It was a scorching hot day and I was glad that I wore white. Somehow, somewhat, I had been lectured quite a number of times in the day. Wanlin, Min Wee, Yi Bien, Tard dropped by to note some words of encouragement for him. I went to visit him when the blessing event was about to end. Jacky bro was kind enough to drive me there. He waited for me patiently even though he could not access for visting.

 

I wanted to decorate the chalet but I forgotten to buy decorations for it the night before. I focus too much on the food and my goodie bags. Eugene rang me up and asked me about the decoration. I told him to decorate with toilet paper instead. He was shocked and thought that I was joking. Mw was aweome, she stole the Christmas ring from the chalet along the corridor. It was an awesome move and I sweared I love that.

 

#Toilet papers

 

He fetched me from the hospital to the chalet. I was really shag when Mw told me about the missing funds. I nearly fainted because I was overly exhausted. Fortunately, it was just a false alarm when I recounted the funds. My girls hadn't reached. I dropped dead on the bed under the blanket. By the time I woke up, I saw my girls and some new faces. It was an awkward moment when the sleeping organiser woke up and climbed out of the blanket pretended that she wasn't sleeping.

 

#The stolen decoration from the corridor.

 

It was slightly better originally. Probably less toilet paper lying around. I enhanced the effect since the idea originated from me. Eugene, Mw and Jacky was bewildered by my ideas and actions. They sat quietly and watched me climbed and decorated the place. Mars came into the room and looked at me with his big round eyes.

 

... he asked

 

"Is it Halloween?"

 

Then he said the picture above reminded him of funeral. Maybe one day, I should show it to Jason. I'm sure he's gonna laugh at my doings. It reflects bad on my image, but well, I don't mind sacrificing a little of my image to put a smile on the other faces. Anyway, they had been laughing badly at me for years at my stupidity. I feel like a comedian at times. I am just being true to myself and I accept the way I am.

 

It's still kind of sad when my friends start to talk about my history. Sad max.

 

#Queue

 

#Over the fire

 

We were supposedly having BBQ. I had no idea how they managed to start such a big fire. We ain't using the heat from charcoal but fire directly. The fire burnt the aluminium foil eventually. I can't cook, but I can eat. I have really sentive taste bud that amaze my family and friends.

 

#Buffet

 

I can taste and define the missing ingredient if the dish tastes differently from the previous one. I don't guess it right all the time, but maybe most of the time. I am very picky about food and that pissed off my mum very much. She knows her daughter pretty well. Yeah, so, ahem.

Her daughter is unique because she communicates differently with her mum. I simply bare all my doings to her. Obviously, she wasn't interested about the good deeds I had done. She wasn't listening much when I told her about what I had been doing at the hospital lately. She was only keen to hear about my upcoming plans, my pranks and arguements. Oh ya, she wants to know who are the guys I am hanging out with.

 

I told her a billion times that I wasn't hanging out with any particular guys. I was busy and only mingled with groups lately. Sigh, children are gems in parents' eyes. She thinks that her daughters are like princesses. My mum can be rather thick skin at times. She always boasts about having pretty daughters infront of relatives when it is not the truth. Oh shit, side track ald. Back to chalet topic.

 

#Reunion dinner

 

We have 2 tables actually. Jacky, Mars, Boon, etc were at the other table. Seriously sitting around a table like a reunion gathering. Actually, I was exhausted. I fell asleep for a few times with my eye wide opened. I merely stood beside the BBQ pit and I was in my lalaland until someone came to talk to me. It was hot beside the BBQ pit but I enjoyed the silence and serenity. It was not easy to keep talking like a chatterbox. I must be well trained since young. I finally undertand why I am a permanent reident of detention corner after so many years.

 

#Dinner

 

# The yacht club

 

#Group shot

 

#Feasting

 

 

#Taken with Mars's camera

 

That's not the end of the day of course. Well, I need a breather too. Let me break this post into post(s). That shall be the best solution.

 

 

 

---------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

Y'know what, I gonna sleep early tonight. I have many things to do. I gonna wake up early in the morning and make a video for my friend. It is going to be a special video dedicated to him only. I need time to note down what I gonna say for tonight. I must make sure I look pretty in the video. Ok, I take back my words. It's hard to make myself look pretty when I'm not. I should say presentable. Yeah, that's the correct term for it. It has to be a touching, motivating and a sweet one.

 

I'll buy harsh brown and pay a visit at the hospital before I make my way to town to buy a birthday gift. Then I'll probably do some shopping with what I have. Limited cash on hand. The bank is seriously fucked up. I need my pin desperately. I'll be meeting my friends at town. I had no idea why either, I don't feel like going. Maybe I'm just too tired. Or maybe I wanna do something that I like. I need an ice-cream, a dark mocha frappe, pizzas, pastas and English breakfast. Oh gosh, I cried over a breakfast.

 

It is not the worst. I remember I cried over shoes, pastas and chocolates. I'm well loved by my dear ones. They bought me stuffs and spent time for me. I did nothing to deserve these actually. Honestly, I hate internal conflicts and I always do my best to reduce the damage. I feel like a router at times. Informations feed my brain from time to time. I know the personnel, finance and character of everyone. That's not the exaggerating part. I even know about their allergies and dislikes. That's so funny.

 

No wonder Carl and Desmond had been joking about me being the COA. Carl said that I was Cityhall connecting different lines together at the central. Zzz.

 

Good night, sweet dreams.

 

Cheers,
Pzy

壞人

朴政珉  - 壞人, Fonta Garden

 

 

停下來　別太快　

把你的愛　騰出來

夢醒來　發現這只是一場誤會的對白

我坦白　太衝動只會讓你走進錯胸懷

讓妳以為　我不會走開

滿足你所有的依賴

我是一個戴著面具的壞人

把妳放進心裡卻推給別人

妳總把我當作一扇冷漠的門

無法看穿我的懦弱無能

我是一個沒有骨氣的壞人

明明愛著你卻沒勇氣吭聲

只能受盡煎熬卻又對妳殘忍

心碎的是　眼睜睜看著妳離開的壞人

我的錯　犯太多

沒有人　能看透

想要說　但沒用

我是我　.....

一個戴著面具的壞人

把妳放進心裡卻推給別人

妳總把我當作一扇冷漠的門

無法看穿我的懦弱無能

我是一個沒有骨氣的壞人

明明愛著你卻沒勇氣吭聲

只能受盡煎熬卻又對妳殘忍

心碎的是　眼睜睜看著妳離開

我是一個沒有骨氣的壞人

明明愛著你卻沒勇氣吭聲

只能受盡煎熬卻又對妳殘忍

心碎的是　眼睜睜看著妳離開的壞人

欺騙你的壞人　

 

 

The video quality is really terrible. I wanted to learn this piece though I never really like play pop songs on piano. Well, the feeling is different. Majority of the pop songs I played on piano sounded like classic sentimentals all the time. I can't play jazz at all. I gonna start looking for the scores. I'm just saying it, I doubt I have any spare time to do so. The scores should be hard to find. Sigh.

Gratitude

I'm finally done with the goodie bags for the nurses at Changi General Hospital who took care of my friend all these while. Thank you so much.

I knew you were trouble

 

A love contract

Mmmm, I'm not trying to be humourous or hilarious. I had no idea where my inspirations came from. It just came into my mind out of the blue. It sounded absurd, but maybe it works. I'm actually considering about

 

 

... A Love Contract

 

 

Maybe it sounded absurd, but I believe it works. You never try, you never know. It might turn out well. Instead of asking myself/yourself, if the relationship works. We can simply save time by executing a contract with a set ot regulations, to do and not to do list. You won't have to spend time pondering about possibilities and outcome. You can know each other better definitely. It's hard to tell if the other party suits you by just being friends. Trying out is not gonna make you lose a piece of flesh. Just make sure the rules and regulations are crystal clear and you will not be taken advantage of.

 

 

 

Heh, heh, sounds cool isn't it?

 

 

 

I'm beginning to like this idea. It is sort of like a temporary relationship. Contract to be renew if things work out well. It sounds awesome to me. Let me see what my rules and regulations are...

 

1) The contract will last for only a month.

2) Contract will only be renewed if both parties agree to it.

3) Basic commitments of individual role to be executed.

4) Contract cannot be terminated during it's validity. Penalty: Anderson's Chocolate Fondue.

5) Faithfulness should be abided during the period of time.

6) Basic respect should be enforced.

7) Number of meet ups should be kept within moderation.

8) Last but not least, there should be no extreme physical contact strictly to protect the female's welfare.

 

If the temporary relationship has been proven to work, it can be converted to a full time relationship under the agreement of both parties.

 

... I am such a GENIUS!!!

 

 

My dear gfs, I know you must've thought that I am joking. I'm out of my mind and think out of the box at times but I'm serious this time round. It may be a bad idea in some ways, but it can be a good idea if you try to view it from another angle. There's no harm trying. I am beginning to love this brand new idea of mine.

 

... It's gonna be amazing!!!

 

 

 

Spell of smell

I find myself to be retarded at times. My room was a little stuffy just now. I could not find the air freshener. I used my perfume instead. And now...

I'm having a dizzy spell because of that smell.

...wth

Breakfast cry

17th November 2012

I never think about the future, for it comes soon enough.

 

Oh Lord, I'm still at November's post. I know that I shouldn't have called for Lord because Lord can't save me. It's piling up like a mountain. Then I realised my posts were never up-to-date due to too many ongoing activities. My organiser had been scribbled like a mess, covered with my awful handwriting. My handwriting can be pretty awful. There are even times whereby I can't figure out what the hell I'm writing. It's pretty horrendous due to the nature of my job. Well... well... well...

 

#Min Wee and I

 

Let me check my organiser for this week...

 

Wednesday - An ice-cream + supper date

Thursday - A lunch date and chilling out at night

Friday - Movie and dinner with friends

Saturday - A birthday celebration in the morning. No plans after that -_-'''

Sunday - Hospital visit (Maybe) and Sentosa

 

Weirdest part is, I have been thinking about English Breakfast all day long. It was really funny last night when I was on the phone with Berlin and Brandon. I broke out in tears just because of breakfast. OMG, I find myself getting humourous and hilarious lately.

 

 

 

WHY THE HELL AM I CRYING OVER BREAKFAST?

 

...or maybe

 

BREAKFAST AND SHOPPING?

 

 

 

I must be driven mad mentally in some ways. Lol.

 

#Mw, Me, Min Wee

 

Anyway, we watched Ah Boys to Men that day. There were quite a few of us. My bro, Mars, Jas, Mw, Min Wee and I. We were at Cineleisure. Cineleisure isn't really my shopping heaven. I love ION, 313 and Marina Sq the best. All my favourite shopping outlets like Topshop, Zara, Banana republic, Miss Selfridge, Mango, Pull & Bear, Rockstar, New Look etc. I haven't been visiting them for quite a while since that accident. I've been really busy like a bumble bee due to high commitment. I just wanna do what I should and what's right, rather than sitting at a corner complaining about life. I rather spend my precious time fixing things right than to complain. It's just a waste of time. True enough that there are many people who are leading a lavishing life. Well, I don't envy them at all because I am proud of what I have. I earn every single penny by myself and I don't depend on the others. I am happy with what I have.

 

Bought a tunic dress from Rockstar that day. Muahahaha, I was so happy with my shopping spree. I was eager to get another pair of TOM SHOES, then I realised I have 36 pairs of shoes. Feels like a caterpillar.

 

#Reunion dinner

 

We had dinner at Kenny Rogers. Mars was badly attacked by us that day, inside joke, ahem.

 

Have a great day.

 

Cheer,

Pzy

Weights

9th December 2012

The sun goes down, the stars come out.

 

#Wang, Drew, Me, Mw

 

P/S: True, I put in effort in things I do. I don't need you to advertise for me because I never expect any acknowledgement for my effort/ I believe time will tell. I set my priorities better than you do. Instead of spending your precious time telling me what to do, I suggest that you should spend a little more time fixing your things. I am good and fine, I don't need any help. Your help can be a burden to me. Please stop weighing me down with your help and that shall be the greatest help. Arigatou >.<

 

Cheers,

Pzy

 

 

 

Chocolate

I really miss all the good food I used to have. I want to eat ice-cream and apple strudel. I am craving for chocolate mud pie and dark mocha frappe. I miss watching horror movies, scaring the shit out of myself.

The thoughts of having all the nice goodies reminds me that I haven't been treating myself well for the entire 2 months.

Lovely blue

Omg, I have endless stuffs to update about. My eyes rolled when I saw the number of folders on my laptop. I have many SD cards lying around my table. Unfortunately, I'm lazy and I don't intend to upload them or blog about it. I wanna shake leg and watch HK drama. Ahem, yes, I'm lazy. Valentine's day is around the corner. Sigh, sad max because I won't be getting any flowers. Maybe I should stay home, hug pillow to sleep. I wanna go KL because I'm craving for A&W badly. It sounds lame, but I'm not joking at all.

 

 

#Blue is lovely

Fishes and prawns

19th January 2013

Give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime.

 

My immune system is getting stronger each day. I had not catch a wink for 3 days, maybe a little only. I visited my friend at the hospital and dozed off with my eyes widened. It was a fantastic sight and I was zombiefied entirely. I set off from the hospital at 10pm to Bishan MRT Station. Circle line was really slow. My eyes were about to roll when I saw a waiting time of 14 minutes.

 

#Boring (lol)

 

I met Edmund at Pastamania and I had my first meal of the day. Awww sad, I had no time to eat. I was so busy that I forgotten to have my meals. Basically, I overlooked. I was talking crap with Edmund at Pastamania when I caught a glimpse of a familiar face. Then I thought to myself, my eyes must be playing tricks on me. Well, my eyesight is perfect. It's Berlin Chen. I was enchanted to meet her. She bought chocolates with Brandon to surprise me.

 

Awww, how sweet of them ~

 

My eyes sparkled when I saw chocolates.

 

They bought Royce Nama Chocolate, bitter, alcohol free for me. It was exactly the same as the one Tard bought for me previously. It's my all-time-favourite. Berlin suggested the idea while Brandon scrolled through his messages.

 

*Big hugs to them*

 

#Poking the prawns, let them do the sinful job.

 

Eugene joined us initially, but he went off. Renee and Carl were late. Eugene probably hates to wait. Well, no one likes it. He seemed worn-out and tired so I suggested that he should go home and have a good rest. Ahem, so let's be punctual next time.

 

#The suffering prawns

 

We took a bus to the place. Jason told me that it's Bus 410 earlier on. We found a spot, settled down and got our rods. Berlin was not interested in prawning, she only wanted to eat. Female prawn killer. I never like BBQ prawns. They are tasteless. I only like cereal prawns but I never eat their shells.

 

#Berlin and I (Epic)

 

#Edm, Ber, Me, Bran

 

#Ugly faces


#Prawns over the fire

They cleared all the prawns. I don't really like their prawns. We went for pratas before I made my way to the hospital. My dark circles were out to do greetings as usual. Jason finished the entire bowl of mee soto. He nearly licked the bowl clean. He must be really hungry. I was straining my eyes, keeping myself awake. Then I fell asleep on the couch while Jason was resting. I stinked badly, lol.

I took a cab home by myself after Mw's arrival.

 

Home sweet home and I slept through the day.

Have a nice day ahead.

Cheers,
Pzy

They exist

It's Tuesday green. Oh dear, I'm so sleepy. There are endless assignments to be marked and materials to be produced. Suppliers are taking their own sweet time to process my order. I need my debit card badly. It's almost one month and I have not gotten my pin for activation. I can't splurge on shoppings and food. Due to the lost of my card, I spent 1k less. So, it's a blessing in disguise uh.

 

I wanna eat Togi @ Chinatown. I miss their seafood pancake, bean paste soup, stir fried beef. Awwww ~ Sad.

 

Mum was telling me to eat less because I am gaining weight. My heart shattered into pieces when she mentioned that I won't be getting a bf if I am fat. Then I told her that I'll be getting a bf who loves fat girl. She stared at me and said, "in your dreams only". What an unsupportive mum!

I am pretty sure that...

Boys who love FAT GIRLS exist.

Bless

Sometimes...

I wish my mum can cook better. Like mother, like daughter, I burnt something this afternoon. Oh god, please bless me with a husband who can cook tremendously well.

No hope

I have no idea of what I should do to make you understand. We are friends from the beginning to the last. There can never be an outcome between me and you. Frankly speaking, you treated me very well, close to perfect. Unfortunately, there is no mutual feelings. You can't give me happiness. I never once thought about having a fruitful outcome of being with you. I am comfortable of being your friend and nothing else.

 

I am just a simple and normal girl. I dislike mind games and making things complicated. I just want to be happy and bubbly. I am not seeking for love. I know that it will come for me when it's time. Love cannot be forced. I need someone kind, patient, faithful and share the same interest as I do. That's all.

 

I don't have a pretty appearance or a perfect character. I have no idea what you see in me. You deserve a better girl. I know you are trying really hard but I have no intention of trying out with you. Sad to say, not even a single bit.

 

Maybe some thought that I wasn't ready of a new relationship. In fact, I will be ready when I find the right one. Sorry to say, it can never be you, for sure. Please give up your hope on me.

Smiling from heart

I had a tiring day but I promise that this would be the last. I'll be rearranging my schedule to make my days less hectic. I am happy despite being tired and worn-out. There are so many wonderful and meaningful things to do in life. There is no point walking up and down on the same spot. I'll just do the right things that I should.

 

I am not deteriotaing myself, not even a single bit. It is wrong if you'd think that of me. You belittle me. I am not being selfless. I am not a saint either. I set priorities in life. I know exactly what my top priorities are. I make an effort in everything I do, kinship, friendship and even relationship. I might look playful but I am serious when it's time to. I love myself actually. Pride can be worthless, but it meant a lot to me. I bow to no man. That is the value of my pride.

 

Even if I'm a bitch, I'll be the coolest bitch.

 

I am tired because I have many high commitments at the moment. Please do not be mistaken that I'm out to torture my health because of little setbacks. I AM NOT. I am doing the best that I can be. I am not a perfectionist because I know that no one's perfect in this world. You might thought that I'm insane to utilize my energy to it's high efficiency. I appear good even if I'm worn-out and tired. I just don't wanna let fatigue to be an excuse to my missions and commitments' failure.

 

 

Try and fail, but never fail to try.

 

 

That's what I've been reminding myself every single day. I should never expect the others to be strong when I am not. Before that, I must learn to set a good example to the others. This is my life, so stop telling me what to do because I know exactly what I want better than you do. I need no man to make decision making for me. I am the real decision maker and I make good decisions.

 

 

 

 

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller. Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone." By Kelly Clarkson.

 

 

 

 

Despite all those horrendous happenings, it was my first time smiling from heart yesterday. It's been a long while since I felt that moment of real happiness in me.

 

Why should I cry when I'm well loved?

Why should I sulk when I have great people around me?

Why should I regret when I live my life to the fullest?

 

In fact, I have an AWESOME LIFE. Thanks for making me smile >.< You know who you are.

 

Random

My mood is awesome today. Just being random.

Maria

I'm glad you are recovering well and fighting the surgical operations strong. I may not be there for you 24/7, but I'd my utmost for you as a best friend. I learnt how to take care of the others because of you. Household chores are nothing to me. I can wash, I can feed. I'll learn to cook and make clumsy videos to make your day. Hugs and get well soon bestie.

Meet my dearie

It's been a long while since I met my babe. It was a real miracle that she turned up yesterday. Oh yeah, I love her feathery eye lashes. It was fluffy black. Awwww sad, I dislike weight on my eyes else I'd get myself a pair.

For the sake of all my lovely ones, I'll put a full stop everything. I used to be a happy girl and imma cheerful girl. Well, I am in a good mood today. Awesome day ahead. <3

When you met a bitch

S and D really care and concern about me but there are times I wish that they can stay out of the picture and carry on with their happy life. I might be playful and nuisance, but I'll be serious when it comes to real business. S and D wanted to make salvation. Unfortunately, we cannot expect things to follow the way we wanted.

 

Everything between me and E was past tense. Despite what happened, I never hate E, not even for a second. I believe everything happens for a reason. Speaking from heart, I was happy during that period hanging out with E. No quarrels, no fights, just simple days with outdoor activities, cooking, cards game, pillow talk, roller blading, steamboat, watch funny videos and maybe movies and pool. E called me almost every night and I rushed home from gatherings just to chat with him before he flew off. He texted me from oversea and shared interesting stories and jokes with me. E waited for me to text him when I knocked off and we both put on smiles while reading from the hp screen. E has a pair of sparkiling eyes and you can feel his sincerity when he talks.

 

There was nothing ongoing between me and E. It is an existing special feeling. 

 

Everything was calm until the return of B. B was the ex-gf of E. They had been together for a year or two. Then E decided to patch things up with B. E has a friend name DD and he knew I never blame him. 

 

 

 

 

 

I had a short conversation with DD...

 

 

DD: We can't trust ANYBODY, do you agree.

 

Me: I do not agree.

 

DD: I don't think we should completely trust other people.

 

Me: I do not agree. It’s the trust that makes the bond. In life, people broke trust, but that doesn’t mean that we should stop trusting. They might hurt us unknowingly, but I believe it pays to be kind. People make choices to lie, people make choices to trust. It’s just a process of decision making. We have to be responsible for our decision. E is still a kid. Despite his doing and humiliation to me, I never hate him. In fact, I still trust him. It’s not a lesson learnt, but a choice made."

 

DD: Yes, thank you, I learnt from what you said :) it's choice that matters :)"

 

 

 

 

 

Ever since then, I stopped contacting him because I knew that he had made a choice. I respect E's decision. It's really hard to forget someone you spent a quarter of your life with.

 

D thought that it was being unfair to me. She thought that she was partially at fault and should be responsible for our first meeting encounter. She spent time talking to E over coffee sessions. I felt that E still treats us as friends despite his negative reactions.

 

Hey bitch, you mentioned that E longer wish not to befriend D. You are wrong. You both patched up on the 22nd October 2012 (I did not mean to remember this inauspicious date, but it happened to fall a week before D's birthday). For your information, they were having coffee session on the 19th October 2012. Oh... I thought someone mentioned that E wished not to befriend D since a long time ago. Oh well, well, well, let's see who's the real bad bitch now. 

 

 

 

 

 

Then another tragic happened...

 

Maybe it's all fated, we met in the club. I would be lying if I were to say I'm feeling fine. Those memories hit me instantly. I went out on my own to have a breather. D refused to give up. She insisted talking to E. I knew that was impossible and not doing any good to both parties. I texted E and told her that D was looking for her. He was with B most probably and I did not carry any hope of him replying. To my surprise, he did. He even added a comment saying "Okk Stay safe". For split seconds, I knew we could still be friends.

 

I told D to call E via phone instead of meet up considering his situation with B by his side. D was talking to E when I found her. Things weren't looking good but I didn't expect it to turn out so bad. B was yelling crazily over the phone. The frequency of her pitch was so high that it could easily shatter a piece of glass. Sadly, I had never encounter such a situation in my entire life with a crazy woman (I wanted to call her a bitch actually) shouting over the phone non-stop for more than ten minutes. She left me in daze and bewilderment, staring into the space with my rolling eyes as my jaw dropped.

 

B was calling D her shameless. She claimed that E and D are no longer friends. She insisted that E deleted our Facebook and contact(s).

 

That was all bullshit.

 

Hey bitch, listen up. I was the one who deleted E from Facebook. I was the one who deleted his contact. I am a selfish girl and I love myself more than anything else. I will never allow anyone to trample on my pride. I am snobbish because I am proud of who I am.

 

Do you think I'll give him the chance to delete me? Stupid, silly, idiotic. Lol ~

 

I was really disappointed in E for showing B all our private messages. That was really disrespectful of him, leaving me speechless. Well, I know that they are back together but there is no such need to conduct a showhand.

 

D was sobbing out her heart while B was yelling on the top of the voice. I overheard the  entire conversation and I was about to hit the rooftop. I was angry and upset but I kept mum all the while. In fact, I got a shock of my life because I have never met anyone who shouted so crazily over the phone. It was god damn classic. B was calling D a shameless bitch who was leeching on E.

 

Hey bitch (That's the best term for you, sorry), I kept quiet all the while because I did not want to worsen the situation. I did not want to make thing difficult for you, D and E. I did not want to drag myself into the picture so as to avoid unneccessary misunderstanding. It does not mean that you are right. It's just that I cannot bother to debate with someone unreasonable like you.

 

Things might not turn out well between me and E. No matter what, D and E are still friends. There is nothing wrong about them contacting one another. D is not interested in E. D only sees him as a friend or a little brother.

 

What the fuck is wrong with them making contacts?

What are you so uptight about?

 

Just because of my short term history with E, you condemned D.

 

What are your worries?

Are you worried about the rekindle of special feelings between me and E?

Or do you not trust your man enough?

 

B mentioned my name over the phone for several times. She insisted that I was harassing E non-stop and refused to let go of him. As usual, she called me shameless as well. No sense of creativity. Tsk tsk...

 

I strongly believe that there is a short circuit in your puny stupid brain. You must be having haullucinations. Doctors are the only ones who can save you for now. I had never contacted E since 22nd October 2012. I did not speak a single word to him during this period. Are you blind? Deaf? Sick?

 

B shouted at D, telling her that E and D were not even friends. I believe that E opted for an easy wa out and constantly told D that they were not friends. I could not believe E was saying word for word as he was told. No freedom of speech at all.

 

Fuck it and stop the manipulation. I had never been disgusted as much as before until I heard your voice. It's irritating, crude and disrespectful. You can't even respect yourself.

 

Hey E (I wish to call retard actually), please kindly wake up. It is not the end of the world just because you have a girlfriend. I sympathized your plight for a moment, making yourself a look-alike with puppet. You are born with flesh and blood. No one should control your life even if it's your dearest ones. I don't wish to comment much either. It's just a waste of time anyway.

 

Hey bitch, stop dragging me into the picture. I was never involved since the beginning. That conversation was purely about the friendship between E and D. I did not contact him unless I am on the verge and that happened once only. D and I are not leeching onto him. We may not have a pretty face, a beautiful figure or attractive features but we have a kind and beautiful heart.

 

 

 

We don't hurt others like you did.

We don't smear others like you did.

We don't slap others like you did.

We don't scream like a rooster like you did.

We don't manipulate others like you did.

 

 

 

It doesn't mean that you are right about D just because I did not retaliate. I am looking at a bigger picture. Nut brain like yours will never understand. I did not yell at you on the phone because I find you simply childish  of doing so at the age of 23, oh well. I did not want to waste my precious time on shallow people like you. The thought of yelling at you back over the phone makes me feel so cheap. Honestly, I don't even have the urge to quarrel with you. My graciousness does not allow my pride to stoop as low as you. Your manipulative actions are making me so sick. I am pretty sure your singing is terrible from the way you yell like a rooster. Work on it, rooster.

 

I pity the one suffering your screams. It's god damn disrespectful and epic.

 

Last but not least, you sounded like a rooster.

Never learn

 

All because

I'm crying in the middle of the night over same damn thing...

 

 

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

Because of you
I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

天晴

我相信雨后一定会有天晴。。

我要懂得如何为自己而活。。。

Else I ain't truly living, but merely existing.

Fat die me

Why am I jogging so slow like a tortoise?

16 minutes for 2.4km. I used to complete it in 14 minutes. Credits to the 2 mths for not jogging. Never mind, I train my stamina back. Muahahahahaha.

Fat die me ~

Pranked

Oh shit, I've been pranked. Sigh ~

And now, I'm clueless about what to do and so. Ahem, I did apologise but the victim seems offended. Well, I did not bear grudges to the previous issue at all. I can swear because my conscience is clear. I'm pretty sure my close friends or the victim's friend know that I did not, althought I appear as if I did. I'm forever misunderstood by people. That's a trend then.

So pls pls pls, my dear friend(s), try not to prank people on my phone. Even if you are dying to, perhaps look closely at the figure that's been targetted. Ask yourself if he's the right person to mess with, or someone who can take jokes and laugh it off like watching a comedy.

Because if he/she can't take it, I'll be the one handling the mess, apologising profusely and getting nothing in return. Probably to an extend of losing a friend.

Well, let's just see how things go. I'm not going to apologise non-stop because I'm a victim too.

Sigh sigh sigh...

Loved

Pump it

15th December 2012

It's been a long time but I'm here. I'm keeping your heart pumping.

 

It's time to test my long term memory again. It's perfectly working. I woke up late and put on my jumpers for the sake for convenience. Hey hey, you had no idea how much I love my jumper. It has many pockets that ranges from big to small where I can slot in my money and handphones.

#Coco Ichibanya

 

Teng and I struggled about taking a cab or not for we were late. We booked the appointment at Ksuites and we failed to be punctual. That was bad. 30 minutes forfeited but it was still cheap since Teng bought the coupons online. We sang for hours before our tummy started to growl.

 

That was when we settled lunch at Coco Ichibanya. It was raining cats and dogs. We were trapped in the building because of the rain. It wasn't boring because Teng was full of nonsense too. Oh, another nonsensical one just like me or maybe worse than me. Oops.

 

#Swensen

 

We went shopping at Bugis Street. Oh dear, that wasn't my place. It was really crowded and packed with humans. I bought nothing at all. Sad. Even Teng could not find anything for herslef at Bugis Street. Not even little toy stuffs for her children. I still haven't accept the fact that she's a mother of two. Why am I still unattach then?

 

Sigh, image too terrible or maybe too fat? HAHAHA, rofl.

 

#Me and Teng

 

We were gluttons. We had waffles at Swensen and slacked over there for quite a while.

 

 

#Waffles

 

Jian Wang and Yong Kang came over to pick Teng up while I headed to M1 shop to meet Mw. Apparently, she was LATE AGAIN. Sigh, visited Jason for a little while at the hospital before heading home.

 

Have a nice day ahead.

 

Cheers,

Pzy

Follow your heart

16th November 2012

Be willing to be a beginner of every single morning.

I woke up groggy in the morning, dragging my feet against the floor to the washroom. I forced myself to speed up so that I can close my eyes for a little while. I was expecting fresh crisp air upon stepping out of the lift when I felt nothing by the blazing hot sun. It was scorching my skin and I could feel the intense heat.

#The Cedele

 

I met Qian at the bus stop and headed to The Rail Mall for our brunch. We decided to settle down for Cedele. I hardly eat breakfast during normal days but I have the habit of dating my gfs for breakfast during weekends. I love English breakfast, that explains my likings for Rider's Cafe, Hatched and Wild Honey. They are my all-time-favourites.

 

#Me and Ss

 

Qian was pretty busy, busy with work, studies and romance (maybe). That's why I was given the morning slot ONLY. Well, it's alright. I was busy too, not about work, studies or romance definitely. I was busy with dates. I was hoping for some really nice sweet guys to date me but it turns out the other way round. My gfs date me more often. Awwww ~ sad. The book shelf is ready for me.

 

#The Soup Spoon

 

#My babe and I

 

After my brunch session with Ss, I took an afternoon nap. Oh gosh, my long term memory was incredible. It's 15th January 2013 and I could even remember that I took a nap on that day itself. Unfortunately, I have short term memory. I don't address that problem of mine as short term memory. I probably choose not to remember it subconsciously because they are not really important at times when I gets too busy. I tend to filter them accidentally.

 

Had Soup Spoon with Berlin @ Bugis Junction. She's on a diet plan, oh not me. I accepted the way I am and I have no intention to make changes to myself. As you see, I'm chubby and small, which makes me look like a potato. It's alright, I'll make my future husband or bf accept the imperfections of a potato. Guys must have thought that I'm hopeless after reading.

 

#Berlin, Me, Mw

 

We met up at Cineleisure with Mw and Howard for movies. We watched Cold War that night. My eyes never left Aarif Lee for a second for he's mad cute. Awww ~ sweet. I still vividly remember Berlin busy googling for Aarif Lee cute photos.

 

...follow your heart

 

With love,

Pzy