I foolishly thought that I could walk out of the biggest trouble. I packed myself with activities. I made my life so busy that I could not breathe. It's been 3 months exactly and I am still living in those memories. I didn't expect a 4 months bonding to hurt me so bad. I made myself so tired and worn out. Despite doing so, I can't get him out of my mind even when I learnt that he lied to me.
Because I knew that he was good...
Because I knew that he was kind...
Because he made me happy...
Because he made me feel my importance...
It's all because...
I wanted to tell him so badly that everything has nothing to do with me. I wished he knew I wasn't involved. I swear I wasn't.
I slept at 12am. It was the ever first time after 3 months of struggles, I slept early. I laid on my bed, staring into blank and knocked out eventually. I thought that I had let go of everything because I managed to sleep. Then I realised I was lying to myself, he sat firm in my mind, heavier than a mountain, stronger than titanium.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I was never like this before...
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