Silently kill you

Sometimes it's better to be clueless about what's around you, than to know every bit of truth and lies that would silently kill you.

 

Everyone claims to be selfless, but the fact is, everyone is selfish especially when it comes to heart issues. It can be really scary and creepy at times when you trembled in fear thinking to yourself, who are the truthful ones. Everyone has 2 faces, it's true. 2 faces that differ greatly freaks me out entirely.

 

Things changed as fast as lightning, just like a snap and it's over.

 

For a moment, someone could be telling you, "Hey my dear, I wish that you can have all the happiness because you deserve it." but on the other hand, her mind does not work with her heart.

 

For a moment, someone could be telling you, "Hey, you are my best friend and I want you to have the best in the world." but on the other hand, he/she is trying to steal everything away from you.

 

For a moment, someone could be telling you, "I think that he/she's not that great and I doubted his/her character." but on the other hand, he/she is telling a 3rd party how awesome he/she is.

 

For a moment, someone could be telling you, "I think you need to observe he/she for a longer period, he/she might not suit you." but on the other hand, he/she is singing praises about him/her.

 

For a moment, someone could be telling you, "I truly think you are good, nice and great. You deserves really good guys." but on the other hand, he/she told someone else that you weren't that great.

 

I wish not to know a single thing right from the beginning at times. Curiosity kills the cat, and I'm the cat. No one's gonna pity a cat like me. I'm a selfish girl, there are things that I wish to keep to myself too. I can't be possibly thinking for the others the whole damn time. There are certain things I don't mean to hide. I'm trying to minimise the damages. I wish not to hurt anyone either even though I know you never meant to say that of me. The truth is, I'm really hurt.

 

I can't figure out what hurt me the most. I feel the pain struggling to escape within me.

 

 

 

Is it right of me to be selfish once in a while?

 

 

 

My mind is caught in a mangled mess. I am taking in all kinds of information from North, South, East West. They are creating chaos in my mind and I just wanna unleash them all at once. There can be only a thin line between the truth and lie. I lost my judgement completely. I turned into a listener unknowingly.

 

 

 

Should I fight for myself or give in to someone who needs it more than I do?

 

 

 

It's just a random post, so let's not probe into it. I'm not referring to anyone in particular for this post.