I can no longer differentiate the kind of person you are. I am feeling guilty because I doubted you. I doubted your stories, words, basically everything about you. I tried to be a selective listener but you hurt me metres when I allow you to hurt me an inch. I appeared calm and cool after hearing your tales and so-called heartfelt advices.
Then again, I asked myself if I should ever heed your advices. I wish not to hear any of your hurtful remarks. I neither wish to blog about it in details nor share a single word with my friends because I want to protect you despite your horrendous doings. I had no explanation about your doings and I tried my best to understand your plight, pain and pressures.
I want to lighten your burden but that doesn't mean that I should be hurt by your words with blades. It's really hurtful with additional bleeding sensation that stabbed me numerous times. I tried to compromise and give in to you as much as I can. To my surprise, I realised that you refrained me from reaching out for my happiness. I turned a blind eye to everything you did and you attempted to harm me despite my kindness.
True, I am lost. But you know, I am a human too. I have feelings just like every human beings living on earth. I feel your rejections and I put a stop to it so that I won't hurt you. I wouldn't hurt my friend for the sake of my happiness. Whereas, you, giving me nasty comments and put up a perfect show convinving me to do things that are not gonna hurt you, yet putting me in a painful plight.
I don't mind bearing the pain, sharing the woes and lending you my listening ears. Unfortunately, your words were too strong for me to handle. I had been really happy for the past few weeks. I was grateful because everything was back to normal. Now, you are robbing them from me bit by bit.
... I think I need some alcohol
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