You just don't understand. I'm not afraid about how people look at me. I'm just trying to be understanding, putting myself in other people's shoe. True, we need to think for ourselves but we can't be selfish all the time. When I was single, my friend gave me happiness and kept me accompany when I needed them. They cheered me up when I was down, gave me attention and surprises with love always.
True, I'm attached now but that doesn't mean that I should abandon them. I've been trying hard to manage my time for bf, friends and family. I am tired and sick of my current time management. I know that it is impossible to give time to each and individual at all times.
But...
I want to be there for them when they need me.
I want to be there for them when they are lonely.
I want to care and concern for them.
I want to hangout and spend valuable time with them.
I want my friendship to float on the sea and not sink.
THEY ARE MY FRIENDS.
I am not saying that I don't want my bf. They belong to different dimensions. Look at me, I haven't been meeting my friends and honestly, I missed the old time talking about nonsense and shit while mocking at one another over a lunch or dinner. I missed the old time where we shopped alot despite knowing it's rubbish. I missed the old time having fun despite having stress to plan well.
I am not expecting much. I just thought that a simple outing with everyone included will help me strike a balance between all. I can have my time with friends and bf, the fun I desire for without splitting myself up into bits and pieces.
It wasn't just about my time but my the other half as well. Our working hours differ alot and I can't expect my friends to fill in the empty gaps. I'm not afraid, I just want to make everyone happy by giving in a little. You give before you take and it was not a difficult task at all. Taking a step back and be willing to compromise is not going to hurt. You will still gain at the end of the day.
Whatever... You won't understand anyway...
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