Dream big

I was really tired lately since the day I decided to revamp my bedroom. It sounded easy but not really easy. I'm neither a designer nor an engineer. I put in great effort to draft out my room plan and customize the design I desire. I made measurements and modified the interior. I made a big decision to have my 1 yr old drappy curtain and rack removed and replaced it with a scroll-down curtain (not sure what it's called). In fact, all furnitures in my room were less than 3 yrs old.

My decision to revamp incur a heavy cost on me. I was holding back to my decision for quite a long while before the actual execution. Maybe, you gonna think that, "Hey girl, it's just a bedroom. A room with privacy for you to relax." I can't be anymore agreeable about this.

My bedroom isn't just a bedroom. It's my private space and my work space. In fact, it's a place where I started from scratch in my career. It's a place where I earned my first bucket of gold. Not exactly gold, I'm trying to say my first keep. Well, that's a better term I suppose. I wasn't comfortable with my previous formation because I felt that the private space of mine was invaded by foreign element such as paperworks. I decided that I need a seperation between my career and private space. Hence I decided on a 50:50 convertible concept.

I had my wardrobe done up like a piece of wall so that it doesn't make me feel like a bedroom in the day but give me my privacy when I open it with beautiful and colourful clothes hanged neatly, accessories organised and clearly displayed. The open wardrobe concept reminds me that it's my bedroom.

I had all my customized functional tables mounted to the wall. Tables are set up with a simple fold up to make my work space and fold down after a day of work. It was a good concept in my point of view and I really like that idea. It sort of give me a refreshing feel than a stress load that weighs me down from time to time.

I was 80% done with my packing when I found some of the old folders, books of receipt and namecards. Then I realised, I went through a hard time before coming to this day.  I am just a Diploma Holder and I am not inferior about it. In fact, I am proud of who I am. Not exactly the proud, but I am happy for what I've gotten to this day, this moment. To be honest, life's really hard at times but it's not about the capital or qualifications you have. It's not about the influential backing to back you up.

Everyone has a goal. Everyone has a dream.

I have them too. Hey, hey don't laugh. I really do and I have many of them.

When I was young, I wanted to be a pianist. Hey, that's not a joke. I did put in effort for it. I performed for concerts and competitions. I wanted the limelight on stage and the sound of applause from audiences. I wanted to overcome the stage fright and be fearless. I started to work when I was in Secondary 2. I earned my keep and paid my music fees. You must have thought that it's not gonna be expensive because secondary school girl can afford the fees. To be honest, it's not. Every session that lasted for less than 2 hours can easily cost me a hundred buck. I was a 5th grader back then. I pulled through eventually. Then again, I lost my interest because I didn't want to play that well. I just wanna play to please myself happy. It was never about Beethoven or Yiruma, but the melodic tune. It was an interest but not a goal.

When I was a teenager, I wanted to be a teacher. I love kids, or not. They can be angelic at times but not always. I see a devilish side of them when comes to academic. Then again, I told myself that I got to study hard to make my dream comes true. I did study hard but it didn't last for long. Probably a month or less than that. My academic was just an average and I made it to polytechnic. I wasn't born with a silver spoon. My dad was the only bread winner of the family. You can say I'm poor but I'm not inferior about it. I don't feel shame or embarassment because I am proud of my father.

 

Life was so bad at then when we couldn't even afford to buy a McDonald's Happy Meal. My dad would scrimp and save on his meal just to buy my sister and I an ala carte burger each. I remembered that he often came home with 2 Fillet-O-Fish in a transparent plastic bag. That's life.

 

My first semester was about to begin and I had to fork out my school fee. I cried in the middle of the night because I was feeling stressful. I need a laptop for my studies and I couldn't afford for one. Laptops were expensive during my school days.

Some people say, "Just tell your dad to buy it for you". Sounded easy huh?

Unfortunately, he couldn't afford for one. Then, a warrior saved me. He was my cousin. He lent me money to tide over and buy a laptop. It took me 6 months to return and I was really grateful. I worked and managed to save up for the school fee. That wasn't the final yet. I took up several part time jobs during that period. I worked in sales, F&B industry. I tried working night shift in factories to earn more money. Times were so bad that I remembered I took up 3 jobs at a time just to managed my fees and expenses. My school chairman was a great and understanding woman. She knew my plight and granted me early school release so that I have a manageable life.

Life was tough but I survived. Being poor or born in a poor family is not an excuse to weigh your dreams down. It's about your determination to overcome difficulties make a difference in life. Nothing can ever stop you if you have a dream.

After graduation, I couldn't decide if I wanted to go National Institute of Education. I had no idea what's holding me back then. I love teaching but I did not want to be tied down by contract. I looked around and realised most of my friends got themselves office jobs. So, I decided to try it out. I worked as a sales executive in an office. Being a novice, I get bullied or trampled just like anyone else did. I wasn't defeated by the fact of a greenhorn pushover by a superior. It was within my expectation. Then, I quit my job and work in a tuition agency. I got a great boss but probably a boss at mental risk. She taught me well and gave me authorities at work.

As time goes by, I discovered my goal in life.

I didn't want to be a pianist, a teacher, an office girl or a freelance tutor.

I HAVE A DREAM OF MY OWN.

I don't want to be a worker bee working under another for my entire life. I wanted be on my own. An entrepreneur, not quite yet. I wanted to do something of my interest and passion. Finally, I decided to quit and venture on my own. Beginning was tough and tiring. I started with nothing but a desk only. I was so broke that I have no money for advertising. I couldn't even afford to hire a distributor for my flyers that I had to give out on my own. Every flyer had my blood and sweat. I may not be entirely succesful at this moment, but I know I'm doing things fine. I have a stable income, an interesting job with passion. I may not earn alot but I am capable to provide for myself and my family. I am happy with what I had started and I love my job. 

 

Life has been so good for me that I realised I had slackened off a little. I thought through about it and decided to make some changes to my career once again. A good career requires maintenance. I'll be able to make it for sure. So, I decided to cut down on partying. I'll still party but I'Healthy programmes are better choices. Simple dates and gatherings or a short trip overseas can be perfect. I need a clear mind to perform my task. I need ample of rest to be productive.

Yes, I have no high qualification, so what?

Does a good qualification makes you a good man?

Does a good qualification makes you success person?

Does a good qualification gives you a good personality?

Does a good qualification brings your wealth?

Does a good qualification provides you with happiness?

It's all about individual judgement and the way you see. I didn't feel poor when I am poor. I feel rich not for the realistic properties I owned but the dreams and goal I have in life. I'll just have to keep trying again and again.

 

Dare to venture, dare to fail.

Without failure, there can be no success.

 

You can be successful even if you are just a PSLE holder, or even not. It's your dream that makes you big, your goal that makes you strive.