The old you

Things are turning really sour at this point. In fact, I'm utterly disappointed in you especially when you turned your back against me. It wasn't within my expectation but still leaving me in bewilderment. The truth is, I know everything. I mean it when I said that. Best part is, I knew it right from the beginning. Your every acts and details are vividly caught in my mind. I was disgusted by your actions and I never expect you to have done that, then again, I thought to myself...

 

You are my beloved girlfriend and I still treasure you despite knowing the ugly side of you. I tried to remain neutral and not judge you by your doings because I believe everything happens for a reason. I can sense that you are badly hurt by the entire incident even though you put on a tough look not giving a damn about it. I kept quiet and not rubbed salt on your wound. Then, you killed the upright you in my memory. I would never ever expect you to cross that fire line because you assure me in person that you hadn't done it. The fact is, you had done it. 

 

I was really upset when you sounded disappointed in me, assuming that I was giving up on you, not trusting you just because I was attached, maybe not. I no longer have the ability to differentiate what's the real you. I chose not to doubt you, giving you the benefits of doubt. I treated you like my real friend despite your mistakes. I close an eye towards your little action when I know it shouldn'tbe that way. Now, the pot is calling the kettle black.

 

Am I the one deserting you?

Am I the one not trusting you?

Am I the one giving up on you?

 

No, you are.

 

I'm speechless if that's how you see me. I like the old you. The one who speaks her heart, being blunt with words of knives but kind hearted, treasuring every little bits of sweetness and smile heartily. I miss that girl, but not the current one who live in hatred and jealousy.