It's sufferings. I'm still working hard trying to get over it. I'm feeling really down and guilty. I had no idea how I should react to my friends who were down as well. Each time, when they are down, I try really hard to cheer them up no matter how terrible I'm feeling inside. I would feign a smile and laughed as heartily as I could. It was my dying moment and I tried my very best to survive this terrible ordeal. I had no more strength to bring smiles and happiness to those who are down. I was feeling guilty because I was very upset that they still poured their sorrows at me and they expected me to care for them. I wanted to care, but I had no strength to care any further. Before I can save the others, I need to save myself. I just wonder if they can be more considerate about my feelings. They should not expect anymore from me at this moment.
Still, I standby my decision. I tried my best not to ponder too much. I tried to stay calm and pack myself with lots of activities hoping that these gonna ease my pain.
I know that I'm never alone with the lovest and dearest ones that care for me.
Have a nice day ahead.
Cheers,
Pzy
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