In the middle of the night

After reading the tag from John Doe in my tagboard, I honestly don't feel good. I would rather say I'm furious than upset. If I said, I've done nothing like that, you might think it's bullshit. If I keep mum to myself, you might thought I was feeling awful for my terrible doing. Therefore, I wish not to clarified on that. I strongly thought that if I did, it means I did; if I didn't, it means I didn't.

I wasn't afraid of people giving me names or making accusation towards me. But, I was afraid of losing my best friend forever. She's not just a friend, she is a sister, a family member or someone dear to my heart. When I was down, she was the one who gave me encouragement and made me an optimistic person. We share secrets and save the best thing for one another. She would always save me a seat in class when we were in a team. I used to treat her to movies when I got extra allowances. She would make her signature egg mayo sandwich while I planned surprises for her birthday annually. We shared a waffle and curse the man who broke our fragile heart together. We would cry together and share the woes. There was once when Ah Tard went missing in action for the entire day, I was so afraid that she might encounter some mishap that I broke into tears. We went through thick and thin together and never leave the other behind. This is our happy and forever ongoing friendship; as strong as steel. I am afraid of losing my best friend forever, but I have faith in our friendship and trust in her understanding towards me.

Why would I do something like that when I know it hurts?

I'm not afraid to let people know my pasts because there's nothing to be ashame of. 3 years ago, I was in the same class with Ah Tard. Similar scenario applied onto me way before her. Someone hated me to core, calling me horrible names and critque about my shabbly look. Worst, my hater made untrue accusation towards me and post it in Hardware Zone forum. My hater even printscreen my ugly shots and post it in the forum with my blog link. He/She created 3 threads for me and things were roaring crazily in the thread during that period. Within a day, there were more than 12 pages in each thread. I had no choice but got the mod to take down the thread and report the case to the police station.

You had any idea how hard I cried?

You thought I don't know the feeling of being hated and dislike?

You had any idea of the fear deep in me about what's up next?

I know exactly what my friend is going through. I been through it once, I knew the feeling and taste of it. It's bitter. I wouldn't want my friend to been through such a pain if I had a choice. When I stood up for my friend, I meant it sincerely.

------------------------------------------------------------

Maybe I hadn't put things into proper words. I'm not trying to challenge the hater (whether is it mine or her). I personally chose not to remove the comments. You got to know, everyone has the right to hate and like someone. Right now, John Doe thinks that I'm the hater. So does that mean I had to take down his comment? Definitely no. He has the right to suspect me, but I too have the right to get angry and emotional. I'm just trying to convey a message to the hater, what's done cannot be undone. The hater shouldn't be always repeating the same issue. There must be an end to this someday and somewhat. There's not point dwelling onto it. It took me much courage to walk out of my phobia (Hardware Zone issue). I chose not to dwell on it. You think I love my tagboard? I hate it because it suck. Life goes on no matter what. You just have to live to the fullest.

Anyway, I'm in a real bad mood now. Sick of these...

Not making any sense...

Made my eyes widened and jaw dropped in the middle of the night. That's it.

I hope my post is not making things any worst.

Night,

Pzy