Well, I suddenly had this urge to blog about my past. Oh shall it be my present and future. Actually, it's nothing great or something imma be proud of it. It's just part of my learning journey, a part where the chorus begin.
The most dramatical and drastical moments entered my life when I was in Secondary 2.
Can you believe it? (Check it out (Song): Can you believe it? It's so amazing...)
I can't believe that I managed to pull through the most dramatic moments in my entire life.
You might thought I'm just writing stories. Eh eh, I'm not. Everything I said, they are real facts. I'm not saying this because I'm self inferior or am I being to proud. I just said it because I feel like doing so after such a long time hiding it deep in my heart.
To be exact, I think I'm so much luckier compared to many others. I really appreciate what I had/have.
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When I was young...
I was born a very happy child. I had great house to live in, great toys to play with, great people surrounding me. I thought it's going to stay that way forever after.
Unfortunately, forever after did not apply on me.
When I was in Primary 5, My dad nearly declared bankrupt. Though he did not, but it's as good as bankrupt. For some reasons, he even had the chance to sit in, lim kopi with mata. I don't wanna go into much details. We were facing the financial crisis at that moment. My mum couldn't take it any further and fell ill eventually. It took her a year or more before she recovered.
My dad had no choice but to work for Mr B ("B" for bastard).
There!!! He destroyed our happiness.
My classic quote for him:
"SCREW YOU FUCKHA"
I'll remember this for LIFE. Y'know, LIFE.
I'll never forget what he gave us except over my DEAD BODY.
My hatred towards him was just like WATERFALL, fierce and strong.
Ever since he came into our life, he made it miserable and caused us to suffer.
My poor dad, with no good qualification, no money had no choice but to work for him and slog like a cow. He wasn't well paid at that moment. To be true, badly paid. He was paid less than 1.5k per month and he's the only breadwinner. This Mr B was an absolute ass. He failed to pay my poor dad on time and pay him 1.5K every 3months. He never felt sorry about that at all. He made yours of family ties with my dad and made my dad a pushover.
You tell me, why don't you tell me?
Is 1.5k enough to support a family?
My dad got 4 mouths to feed.
NO!!!
Damn bastard right?
It was then my mum could no longer take the stress, and soon she fell ill for a year.
I was learning piano at that moment, probably grade 6 or something. It was really an expensive investment and I was halfway through. I didn't want to give it up. Thanks to that Mr B. I gave it up and stopped for 2 years. During my secondary school days, my classmates, friends and besties all knew I work as a part-time in a Photo Developing Shop.
But they never knew the reason why I'm doing so.
I supposed they assumed it for my extra allowance or shoppings???
I worked during certain weekends and the pay really sucks for an undersage working girl. I was only 14, barely a grown up. I was paid $4.00 per hour.
Sounds sad yeah?
I was petite, and not really physically strong. I got to stock up heavy big bottles of silica gel that landed on on me once or twice in a year. I set up camera stand from big to small and cardboard boxes cut my bare hands. I refilled chemicals (for photos) that hurt my skin or even burnt myself while laminating stuffs (Y'know, old machines...)
I wasn't well paid, but the pay worth so much more compared with my friends who worked in MacD @ $2.50/hr. At least, I learnt a lot of things about photography, cameras. I earned about 300 bucks per month. My entire pay went to my piano teacher. It was expensive partly because I took theory and practical together. Furthermore, it was private coaching.
I coverd my face with pillow and crying my hearts out each time I could no longer take it.
My dad never liked me playing piano. He finds it annoying, irritating and an impractical investment. Well, weird though.
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I worked in OG @ Chinatown right after my "O"level. Ok, shhhh.... *hush hush*
Keep your comments to yourself, I find it really interesting too. Hahaha.
Students worked for the sake of fun or extra allowance while I had to saved up every single cents. I paid for my diploma. My dad had no ability to pay for me during my first year. No one loan me a single cent, neither do I want any help from the rest. I wanna solved my problem with my very own ability. I slog like cow and cherished every single OT that they grant me. No one liked OT except me. My colleagues who were going off early would nudge me and give me a chance to do OT.
So sad.
I was an underling of a famous senior obasang(auntie). She was so famous that the entire OG knew her. She onced cursed and sweared her colleagues from B1 to the top floor.
It's my misfortune to be under her. She kept displaying her high authority on me, making me run errands that were absolutely out of my job scope. I wasn't allowed to bring hp into the sales floor.
I absolutely remembered my first shock from her.
Stocks came!!!
She got me to count, record, tally, tagged censor to 2 dozen cartons of stocks ( super big cartons that were taller than me). Each carton consist 500 pieces. I counted non-stop for 5 days during working hours. It's crazy. I remembered her screaming and yelling at me for doing my work like a slow pole. I'm just 16 and I can't handled such situation well. I did not go against her will, but cried alittle as I count my stocks.
Don't worry, I wasn't crying my lungs out. Just a tear rolling down my cheek. That's it.
Because I knew, crying was not a solution to everything. Chop chop curry pok, settle everything shall be the best remedy.
I can't imagined myself to be that positive. AMAZED.
Maybe because I'm poor. OG paid me $1800 (inc OT hours), and it's definitely one of the best pay you can find at that time. I scrimped and saved, and I managed to pay for my diploma.
I managed to pull through, but I'm really tired. That explained why I always skipped lessons.
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Do you see why I hate Mr B so much?
Let me give you a clue who he is...
What a kin!!! (Get it?)
My dad slogged like cow and Mr B ordered him like a dog.
My mum was so stressed that she fell ill, and Mr B still refused to give my dad his salary.
I can't afford to pay for my studies, and Mr B fucking sons were splurging like mad.
My dad fell from 2nd storey, Mr B didn't even fucking care for him.
My dad finally saved 20k, Mr B so-called robbed it from him.
My mum had difficulty paying the house loan, Mr B actually owned 2 cars.
A fucking billion thanks to him.
Because of him...
My dad could not even bear to buy a pair of shoes that cost 20 bucks.
My mum had to take up 2 jobs.
I had to work as I study
WHAT THE FUCK RIGHT?
My life was totally SCREWED because of him.
You wanna know what kind of state we were in?
I don't mind sharing.
When my sister and I were young, my dad was so broke that he couldn't even afford a MacDonald set meal for us. He never want to disappoint us, so he would buy ala carte burger for us. Oh my god, I couldn't hold my tears as I blog.
How much my dad sacrifice?
Sometimes, he bought 2 sets for us and skipped his own dinner. He would claim himself to be full always. I didn't know how to react when I was young.
My dad was facing some health problems but he never went for checkups. He was worried that the doctor might diagnosed that he suffered from terminal disease.
What about my mum?
She know I had no money for piano. There were times, I failed to pay my teacher on time. My mum took up 2 jobs and gave me a portion of her salary during times.
Do you see how much I loath this Mr B?
I WANT HIM DEAD!!!
I might not hate the person that much if it's someone else.
But they are fucking damn close.
I'm glad my dad manage to get away from him. He met a really nice friend who help him to stand up in his business again. Because of his friend, our life become so much better.
The contrast is really extreme.
The main purpose for this post is not just cursing him. I wanna remind myself how much I had learnt and been through because of him. My really nice parents who suffered.
Thank you for bringing me up.
Cheers,
Jeanne
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