Deadly fatal

I'm so-wanna cry now because someone I met few years back (related to work) commented that I looked fat now. Not that I wanna be fat, look at my bf who gained nearly 20kg, I considered myself as a fortunate one. 

2 years back, I attempted to slim down. I did not cut down on my diet. All I did was to jog 3 times a week. I did not jog for long distance, maybe about 2.5 click and I ate as per normal. That so-called slimming session lasted me for only 2 months and I lost 13 kg (From 58 to 45kg). I know, the drop sounded amazing. I'm probably that kind of person with low metabolism. I gain weight and lose weight (god damn) fast. Talking bout that made me felt stretchy like a rubber band. The good thing is, I have no visible stretch mark. So far, I haven't discover any.

65 kilograms is my heaviest record and  I marked that record ten years back when I was still in Secondary School (sec 2). I lost 20kg in 1 month plus as well but through hibernating. I knew it was kind of unhealthy, but it wasn't planned. I was plainly bored during my school vacation and did nothing except sleep and eat (yeah, by right I should gain and not lose). Surprisingly, my skirt literally dropped on my first day of school and I thought something went wrong with my zipper. Then I realized I was a different person (feeling light) and I had to survive the first week of school with safety pins. I had been sleeping so much that I hardly get off my bed. I felt light headed because I felt myself really light as if gravitational force reduced or stop acting on me. If I hadn't slept that much, I'm probably still a super plump girl. It can never be normal for my height.

Now, I'm 49kg. Yes, hitting the digit 5 real soon. I don't really mind as long as I am not overweight. My BMI is still healthy. Then this someone gave me a wake up call. Yeah, I could clearly hear the ringing of the phone resounding in the air through my head. Picking up her "phonecall" was like accepting a real tight slap on my head telling myself that I was damn fat. Gosh, I don't wanna be a fatso or be called a fatso. I'm still young (ok, maybe not really that young anymore) and not married yet. I'm not a mother yet and I should not be fat. No one wishes to be a fatso or labelled as ugly in this world. 

"There are no ugly women in the world, just lazy ones" - By Coco Chanel

Being slim and pretty is a bonus. But if I'm not, it's not that important. At least, I should try to maintain a little before my weight problem gets out of hand. Okay, sometimes, even I myself suspect my words. I always claim that I wanna jog and I ended up sleeping in my bed or watching drama on my office chair. I claim that I gonna cut down on carbs but I ordered pasta and baked rice for supper. I claimed that I gonna stop eating after 6pm but still I went out for supper. Sad to say, those are some facts about me. I'll cross my finger and pray for the best. Hopefully, I can jog tonight.