Happy New Year

31th December 2013
Hope Smiles from the threshold of the year to come, Whispering it will be happier.

Let it go

Ships and shelter

What are friends?

It is when...

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

It is when...

A friend is one who knows and loves you just the same, understands your past, believes in your future and accepts you just the way you are.

It is when...

A true friend gives you total freedom to be yourself and never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.

It is when...

They care like a mom, scolds like a dad, teases like a sister, irritates like a brother and loves more than a lover.

It is when...

They know how stupid you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.

It is when...

They overlook your broken fence and admire the flowers in your garden.

It is when...

They never get tired of listening to your pointless dramas.

Many people claimed that they have friends. That's because no one wish to appear lonely before the others. Everyone has friends. It can be hundred or even up to a thousand. People are (I'm not saying all, I'm referring to a minority) after a big social circle.

Then again, think about it, is it possible to manage a hundred of friends when we only have 365 day in a year?

Yes, you can have many friends. Maybe it's cool to have many friends, knowing people everywhere and having envious eyes looking at your direction, wanting to be you. 

Then again, think about it, who are the ones who really stay when you needed them?

As for me, I just want a simple life. My young and fun life is over given my current age (yes, I'm ageing and learning). I don't need a hundred friends because I know not all will stay behind for me. Yes, maybe they "promised" to stay. Well, be practical, we are living in a realistic world. Certain promises are meant to be made when you have the value but meant broken when you are of no use.

People ask you out to be your friends so that they can have more friends, to have benefits everywhere they go, or even in search of life partners (treating you like a marriage agency, hoping that you can get them great guys/girls and start blaming you when things fail to work). You might not agree, but such people do exist. 

Let's be honest here. 

It's all about fucking BENEFITS to pretentious friends.

You are a king or a queen when you can offer benefits. You are a loser when you are of no use. Trust me, they will stay away from you after they got their means.

It's one of the ugliest truth but you got to face it no matter how cruel it is.

As for me, I need friends too. The fact is, I have friends. It can be a ten, a twenty or a thirty. Well, it's just a number. No matter what happens, I know who are the ones that gonna stay with me when I'm covered with brown mud. Nothing matters more than this, because this is love. 

There are ships that worth my time maintaining and sailing it. I get up on my feet after failures and smile when it's over because I have ships sheltering me all these while. I love these ships and they are called FRIENDSHIP.

Weekend music

24th January 2014 

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. It's weekend finally. 

It'd be great if we can have more weekends than weekdays. Yeah, fat dream of mine. I read up a really funny and contradicting news regarding the penalties when taking a train. In fact, it's ridiculous to slap a fine when "Entering or remaining in train when it is full" (adapted from the list of penalties). Trains breakdown pretty often lately. I'm not a train person and I take bus 90% of my time. Still I encounter train breakdown (5 to 10 minutes delay only). Comparing to those who experienced a longer breakdowns, mine is just a peanut case. But remember, it should not be taken as "normal" because fare goes up and servicing should be done. Now, they wanna fine those who remain in the train when it is full. Then again, if it is me, making an effort to ensure that I enter the train so as to be punctual for work, do you think I wish to step out of the train when it is full? Hell no. We shall see then.

#Me and Vivian

I met up with Vivian and Ken for late dinner as we were heading to Mink (invited by Janice). It was my first time to Mink, and I am more than happy enough to attend without planning. We had dinner at Addictions. Surprisingly, Marina Square has many newly opened restaurants. I'm slow and I realise it. I must have camped home too often. It's time to do some light shopping and navigate around a little before turning into a frog in well (knows nothing).

#Teeth smiles

Amazingly, everyone was punctual. It was totally unexpected because I ended up to be the one who was late. It's not a good thing to make people wait for long (a short while should be alright, I supposed, ahem). I didn't have much for dinner because my stomach wasn't feeling good. Old people tends to have problems nowadays. My mood wasn't good lately. Although I couldn't bear my heart and pour my woes at them, but their nonsense did make me feel better. It's so much better than having negative thought inputting into my mind making my head spin when it's none of my concern.

#Happy us

We started partying when Janice's friends arrive. Well, the environment good in overall except the music being bad. The remix became so much better only after 3am (considerably weird according to my experience). Anyway, I went off at about 3 plus while the rest stay behind for the great music.

Have a nice day ahead.

Cheers,

Pzy

Magical waves

24th December 2014

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.

Another post about festive season. Well, this is sort of outdated. Gosh, I questioned myself at time about why am I forever updating about outdated event. Somehow, I told myself that I was busy. Then again, I realised I spent a lot of time sleeping. Then again, I told myself that I was tired. I have endless reasons to defend myself. The truth is, I'm speaking the truth here. I am seriously busy especially during festive season. I used to plan parties and now, I cut down on plans because I could not manage. You can call me inefficient or any terms, I don't care. In fact, planning big parties are not within my capability. Somehow, it is or maybe not. We used to have a group of 3. The group grows and become 7 or 8. Last year, the digit probably ends at 12 and now it can easily escalate up to 18 or 20. The thought of New Year Eve freaked me out totally when I realised there's a total of 30. 

I received texts from people calling me to make it a big event and created a big blast for that night. They were suggesting about 20 to 30 people or worse, one of them suggested 50. They just claimed that, "Come on, it's not so hard right?" or they probably do tell you that, "I can bring my friends along." Guess what, none of their friends turned up that night or even to the extent of their friends vanishing from earth like a snap without a trace. They probably skipped the effort to inform about not coming. That's how bad it is. Sad to say, but the ugly truth.

No one put themselves in my shoes and feel my plight (maybe my shoes stink). It gives my haywire to plan the numbers of guest and cost. Therefore, I hardly rely on friends of friends other than those really trustworthy ones. I had to invite one by one directly and provide updates from time to time. Punctuality is the part I hate the most because 90% of my friends have the tendency to be late. I seriously scratched my head to ensure they are punctual on and on. Ok, you probably won't wish to know my plan. I find it boring too. Well, what I'm saying here is only 10% of the planning process for really big group. It's no longer an easy task when the number grows beyond 20.

This year, I decided to plan NYE only. As for Christmas, I sat on the couch comfortably and await invites. Bf's buddy was having a birthday celebration at Novotel with a big group of people followed by countdown party at Beer Market. I was expecting horrible crowd at Beer Market. Well, it was alright still. Vivian joined ask after the countdown at a later timing. Yep, it was fun.

Well, with comparison to NYE or even last year parties, I still think last year's ones work the best. Great drinks, great friends, great companion and great fun. I missed that though. 

#Merry X'mas

Golden Pillow

19th to 22th December 2013

Christmas is about laughter, love, friends and family. Don't get lost in the greed. Instead be thankful for all of the joy around you.

Christmas was around the corner and we went on a road trip for the celebration. It was simple and easy compared to big plan with the big group. It was gonna be a short trip and we decided to cut cost on accommodation since Qian and Eugene have relatives in Malaysia. We only booked a family suite at KL which was really cheap and affordable. Flight tickets were expensive due to festive season. Actually, not really either, unless you are making comparison with the usual price.

#Doraemon fever with the odd
Surprisingly, three of us were using Doraemon passport cover except for Sean. Seriously, odd one out.

#Bf, Sean, Qian, me

#Qian and I

#Our first trip

This is probably my first oversea trip with her after so many years. Definitely, I don't include those JB trips. We go to JB pretty often for gatherings or simple shoppings. So, JB is not really considered as an oversea trip for her case. Qian experienced pain in her ear. It was my first time hearing that though. I do heard of people having blocked ears instead of pain. She was chewing on her sweets from Teng throughout the journey. Amazingly, she told me that Teng bought her a 10 packets of sweets. Sigh, She should have gotten me 10 tubs of ice-cream. Tsk tsk.

#His new toy

I was eager to hitch a ride on his cousin's evo.  Sean even had the intention to drive it out. Meanwhile, he suggested that bf and I should take the super bike instead or probably give me a 30 minutes lesson so that I can drive Qian out. Ridiculous!!! I doubt I'll ever drive on the road in Malaysia. It's pretty dangerous according to my experiences and I doubt I can handle that.

Unfortunately, their favourite evo's battery was dead that night. Bf's cousin offered him SLK (seriously, I don't know why it's called SLK) instead. It was a 2 seaters car, therefore Sean had to drive Qian to town in a seperate car. It's really not an easy thing to follow car with considerations to the traffic conditions.

Shops were all closed and we had simple snacks at convenience shop that night.

#At office

We went out for breakfast at my favourite Pao Xiang (Bah ku teh) before heading to his cousin's office to retrieve a much more spacious car. We waited at his office for nearly an hour. It's bored max, I swear. Bf then drove all the way to Malacca.

#Famous Chicken Rice Restaurant

We caught a movie and played at the arcade before heading off to Jonker Street for our dinner.

#Lovely dinner

#Jonker Walk

#With fruit teas

#Two bottles

As usual, bf had to finish what I could not.

#Little snacks from Jonker Street

#With our egg ice-cream

We had the sour plum flavour. Yep, it was one of my favourite. I love to bite on my ice-cream even when it's really cold. Qian love to suck on ice-cream instead. Therefore, her ice-cream melted really fast and her hands were full of ice-cream while walking along the street.

We had a lot of yummy snacks before making our way to the mall for k-session. It was dirt cheap, probably less than RM120 for 3 hours with drinks and snacks.

The funniest moment came eventually. We were making our way to Qian's place for a stayover. Yes, we gotten the address but not the unit number. Guess what? Qian could not recognise her house unit. Sean had to try his keys out at the gate. Fortunately, it was the correct unit based on her description of lanterns only. It was the only unit with lanterns and she still couldn't recognise her house. My gosh.

#Papa Roti

Woke up in the morning and had simple breakfast at Qian's auntie stall. Yes yes, free meal and the guys were thick skin enough not to pay. We drive to KL and did some shoppings. 

#Yummy dinner

That night, bf and I bought a cake for Qian as it was her birthday. I did not want to spoil the surprise, therefore I lied to her saying that it's golden pillow (curry bread) from bakery. I insisted that bf wanted to eat that. Everyone bought the story. Yes, that's my plan.

Qian was looked really sad when I told her that it was golden pillow. She was seated at Starbucks with Sean, having high expectation of us surprising her with a cake from behind (that was what she told me after the trip). We ended up leaving Starbucks with no actions done. She was impatient and wanted to return to the suite right after that. We pretended to be ignorant and make our way to the Twin Towers at KLCC in the middle of the night. It was really cool and dark.

#Twin Towers

#Midnight at Twin Towers

#Opening the bottle cap with a spatula

Qian was eager to shower and sleep once we entered the room. Yes, she was absolutely unhappy that made her constipated. I don't wanna say it but I have to rant about it. She locked herself in the toilet for nearly an hour. 30 minutes to pass motion and around 20 minutes to shower. I was checking on her on and off to make sure the surprise works when she is out of the shower. Unfortunately, I was informed times and times again that she was seated on the toilet bowl still. 

#Candles

#Surprise!!!

#Like a happy girl

#Epic moment

My camera has a smile shutter, therefore it snaps whenever it detects a smile. We were trying out best to set it up at the best position for the group shot. It was so sensitive that it snapped non-stop that night. We tried to hold our smiles but it's really unbearable.

#Happy smiles

#Alcoholism

#The drunk birthday girl

Qian is forever telling me how much she dislike drinking. Well, I bet you can see that she was drunk that night. We bought a Moscato and 4 bottles of Apple Cider only. Her face turned as red as tomato before we could finish all the alcohol. Everyone wanted to snap the epic moments of hers. It was all credited to the Shark game introduced by Renee.

I have no time to edit my post. Hence, pls bear with my spelling, vocab and tenses mistakes. 

Have a nice day!

Cheers, 

Pzy

Ice ice baby

19th January 2014

A career is wonderful thing but you can't snuggle up to it on a cold night

I always wanted to bring my parents out because I wish to broaden their horizon. Old people tends to enjoy staying indoor, yep and I'm referring to my parents. I could not find time especially in November when I was spending my holiday in Taiwan followed by December New Year Eve's Countdown. It's a matter of time management. Maybe you think that I failed to plan, well, I think I planned well though. It may not be the most perfect plan. At least, nothing went wrong along the way. It was a smooth and fruitful journey. 

I had been really busy lately because of work, work, and yeah simply work only. Schedules had been changed again and again like there's no ending. I ended up working for 5 days because of the poor schedule. My eyes roll instantly each time I look at my full month schedule that was packed like sardines. Oh lord!

Let's get back to my day then. Bf treated my parents to 2 Degree Ice Art (exhibition of ice) located at Marina Bay. Bf treated us to a late lunch at Din Tai Fung. Yeah, I can have my favourite soup dumplings. Even so, I still prefer the one located at Chinatown. Hopefully it has reopened for business.

#At lunch

#My family

Yeah, I have a happy family even though we had dispute at times. Still, everything goes well at the end of the day. My mum was looking forward and she showed a turned off face upon realising that she had to put on the ugly jacket. She was told that it's gonna be -5 Degree Celsius in the hall. 

#Bf and I

#Exquisite pieces of art

#Ice sculpture

We put on the jackets and gloves before entering the hall. It wasn't really cold until 10 minutes later. My fingers and feet started aching. Feeling cold, my fingers turned numb and I couldn't walk fast. 

#Ices

#All covered up

It was so cold that my parents could no longer take it. We ended up scampering our way out of the hall. It was really comfy out there. We found a seat and grabbed some bites. In fact, it was bf who decided to grabbed some bites. He simply eats everywhere he goes. To think that he actually blamed me for his recent weight gain, I felt unjust for that.

The he complained to my mum about me dumping all sort of leftovers to him or even to an extent of not eating after a sniff. I'm rather picky about food. I'll not eat it if it's terrible in my point of view. My concept is not to torture my stomach without a valid reason. 

There are times when I passed by stalls and thought that food is gonna be so good until I sniffed it. Then I realised, the taste is totally not to my liking. As a responsible bf, I really think that it is part of his responsibilities to finish up the food. Otherwise, he will call me wasteful.

#My cute parents

#Jaggermiester 

#Alcoholism

#Making of jaggerbomb

The staff told me not to drop the shot glass into the ice mug. But you see, it's not jaggerbomb anymore if I had not dropped it into the mug. Yeah, I tried to be funny (as usual), telling the staff that I want to drop the shot glass into the mug because it's jaggerbomb. He probably finds me a troublesome customer. He gave up and allowed me to drop it in. All I have to do is to remove the shot glass before throwing the ice mug at the wall. 

#My mug was too cold

#Bf 's sexy pose after breaking his ice mug

We had dinner near Garden by the Bay. We walked a long way though because my dad wanted to have his dinner there. As for my mum, she was panting away due to the long walking distance and she totally detest the idea of having dinner at such a faraway place. Even so, we enjoyed the dinner very much.

#Chinatown

We headed our way to Chinatown to see the lights. It was really crowded but I have to agree with the fact that there's nothing much to see. Sg is really boring. Bf bought his mum's favourite snacks before making our way home. I bought a maltose candy before boarding the cab. I tasted it a few times and bf finished it for me again. There's no way for him to slim down. No.. no... NO!

Have a nice day.

Cheers,

Pzy

It hurts to be kind

I feel demoralise at time like the others. I experienced sad moments, disappointments and fury because humanity exists. It may sounds absurd, I feel really bad and horrible. People misinterpret my actions for love. I'll be real nice, straightforward and honest towards my love ones (I'm talking about friendship, relationship and kinship). I know who are the ones who understand me the best despite my confusing behaviours. I put in efforts and I swear I did, even though no one sees it. Still, I wish to be appreciated (who doesn't?). I am not expecting a 100% return. Just a simple way like, "I love you, you love me. We are happy family." I'm not expecting a 200% cash back just because I invested a 100% in it. We shouldn't calculate it that way.

I try to be there for my friends when they need me. I try to help my family when they are in need of help. I try to be understanding when my bf requires my understanding. I never leave them just because they are harsh, broke, nasty, rude or it could be many other reasons. I choose to stay at all times unless my patience doesn't allow it anymore. I could have said so but I never leave even when my patience breaks my limit. 

I absorbed and filter comments that hurt. I put in effort that no one sees and condemned me for being a bad bitch. You don't see it, but that doesn't mean that I didn't do it. I tried my best to salvage everything I can. I give up my time, my money, my energy and probably my heart. It's not an investment, I know. All I want I want is nothing, nothing at all. I don't expect extreme kindness or gratitude. I'll be glad enough that there should be no more knives piercing through me. Unfortunately, even the closest ones pierce me through with a samurai sword. I felt the pain and it hurts. The languages, tone, attitude simply bring fire and thunderstorm across the sky like a boom.

Should kindness be trampled?

Should understanding be tarnished?

Should effort be wasted?

Should consideration be discarded?

Have you had any idea when do humans feel hurt?

Humans are made up of flesh and blood. The amount of pain is derived from the amount of effort given. Yes, it's like Mathematics. Unexpected results brings pain when you know that you had spent good efforts. It hurts when it's not being appreciated. It hurts doubly when it's being trampled further. The one who hurts you simply fail to know you. Then, you begin to see the real world. The dark side of humans emerge when you tried to cherish. It takes a long time before you cherish, but it only requires split seconds to give up on everything. Slowly, you begin to realise that letting go eventually will make you a happier person. It's good to grab tight on ropes at times, but life is like a song, a game, a dream, a sacrifice, a challenge. A rope breaks when you hold on to it too tight. So, give space, give time, when you reach the end of a rope, tie a knot in it and hang on. Well, if things are not going to work, it won't work.

Cherish is just a plain verb without actions. People say it, want it but no one does it. No one is perfect in this world, so am I. I am not expecting myself to live in a perfect world. All I need is a world with only people who cherish me, love me and understand me.

So now, I decided to let go of my rope and let nature takes it course and feed my sense. I'll not bother and listen any further. Making changes to yourself for your love ones, well, it sounds really great, I swear. In fact, it's making yourself tired at the same time. Re-adapting yourself to camouflage into the surrounding is equivalent to brainstorming a lie in life. You blend into the surrounding by making yourself tired, having people pointing fingers, misinterpreting every actions and movements of yours. It's not worthwhile. 

I tried to change and I fail. Now, I decided not to change. I'm not saying this in a fit of anger. I just sorted my thoughts clearly. I decided not to change because I realise it's going to be a failed investment. Some people invest to earn small money, some invest to earn big money. But, no one invest at a declined stage. I just wanna save my keep for rainy days. I don't wish to witness myself shattering like a glass someday with no support.

Friendship, relationship and kinship are like ships. We maintain it to keep it going. It takes two hands to clap. I feel tired clapping with a single hand. I believe my friends, bf and family will love the way I am even if I am not going to adapt and change. If they stop loving me, there's nothing much I can do to salvage either. All I can say, fate no longer exist. It is always good to end a story beautifully before it turns nasty and horrendous. 

I don't wanna care anymore.

Neon lights

Plentiful

2nd November 2013

Here you leave today and enter the world of yesterday, tomorrow, and fantasy.

It's the day for our BBQ session and bf planned a birthday celebration for me. I was disheartened initially because of the heavy downpour in the morning. The grass and pavement were wet and I thought our cycling plan was dashed. Bf and Javen did some marketing and carried big bags of food to Pasir Ris. 'Heavy' is definitely not enough to describe the weight. 2 guys with big builds had to stopover 2 to 3 times in the middle of the pavement before arriving at our pit from where we alight. That explains everything.

#Unpacking

#Setting up

#Set up the fire

I usually light the fire starter only. Bf broke the fire starter into smaller pieces and claimed that it worked faster than the usual way. I doubt so in the first place before realising that it works perfectly.

Then Vivian came with 3 big bottles of alcohol (we have an alcoholic group). She was dragging her way and feeling shag upon arriving. She sat down and stared into the space with no comments. That's her resting mode I bet.

#Addictive gamblers

Qian and Jhi Han arrived eventually and we went to cycle while the addictive gamblers stay behind to look after our belongings. I doubt they were even looking after our belongings. We rode past a few times and they did not even realise that. 

#With the young ladies

Surprisingly, even Kaelyn and Yahui came. I knew it's gonna be a mini crowd that night. But it was all fun catching up even though I ate little only. I was busy entertaining because all my important guests came. My secondary school friends, club friends, good friends, boy friend, friend of friend etc. It was a great and fun night.

#Barbecuing

#Delicious

#With Bestie and Min Wee

It was really great to see Jason at the BBQ because I thought he was not coming as it was not convenient for me. I called him several times through the phone and he did not answer. Just then, I spotted him from far despite my night blindness. I was really glad that he came despite all the troubles. A million thanks.

#Sparkles

Bf bought a big pack of sparkles. At first, no one cared about it. It was halfway through the night when someone decided to light the sparkles. It was beautiful to have a sparkling wand at night.

#Ladies with sparkles

#Happy Birthday to me

Credit to Vivian for buying a cake for me despite carrying 3 bottles of alcohol. We had a Mango Vodka, Moscato and Gold Flakes Vodka that night. Drink, drank drunk and Jhi Han was the merlion of the night. It was a beautiful sight. Credits to Javen and bf for the sponsorship.

#With the ladies

#With a bunch of funny guys

It was a happy and fun night. I enjoyed the celebration much. I was grateful about the effort for the celebration. Thank you guys and let's keep in touch often and make plenty of gatherings. 

Good night and have a nice day.

Cheers,

Pzy