Periodically

There are so many things I want to do, but they seems faraway from me.

 

I just wanna...

 

Have an early brunch at Tim Ho Wan.

Have an early breakfast at Hatched.

Have someone who knows me best to talk to.

Have a great chill out session with friends.

Have a best friend to joke and play with so that I don't have to keep quiet to myself.

Go on a nice shopping spree to buy my bathroom slippers and shoes.

Go on a nice wifi-less (Yes, I'm beginning to detest wifi lately like fark) holiday.

Go party (Yes, yes, it's a must because I haven't been partying for looong.)

Go to the new shopping mall JEM.

Catch a movie at GV Gold Class.

Watch a movie that I've been longing for (I never get to watch something that I wanted.)

Visit SEA Aquarium.

Enjoy a nice steamboat session.

Stock up on my necessities.

Tuck myself into my bed and sleep as much as I want to.

Eat without the need to gorge myself when I'm full.

Shop as slow as I want to.

 

Right now, I'm feeling mentally and physically exhausted. I always thought that connections work when you bare your heart and share about how you feel. It's mad tiring to do guess and check like Mathematics. You won't feel good when you realised someone feeling no good simply appear to be normal in front of you with your sixth sense telling you that he/she has opinions about you. Dragging on without saying is just a temporary cure but not a permanent cure. As time goes by, the real issues have to be review still. It become an add-on side dish to the real problem eventually. Things won't work out in such a way in long run. It doesn't make you a saint by keeping mum either.

 

And yes, I'm feeling sad. My mood was changing periodically. For a moment, I was feeling happy and exhilarated before a random hiccup came into the picture. Definitely, it doesn't mark the end of the day. Think about it, it was meant to be a lovely day and now there's a superficial wound. It seriously dampened the mood. It wasn't just about a day or so but consecutively 3, 4 or maybe 5 days. It's pretty depressing when your mood runs like a rollercoaster and yeah, I don't like that.

 

Yes, my job seems pretty slack. True enough, I don't deny it. Still, I have my own pressure and considerations. My rollercoaster ride made things worse and I feel as though I'm doing things against my nature. I'm a girl after all and I don't feel good of being lectured or scolded. Yep, scolded when I'm crying away simply make my sky turn greyish; or an extend of black. I need attention but I'm showered with attention profusely when I don't need it. Well, there's none given when I need them. It's contradicting and I don't know how to elaborate myself either. It feels like a mum showering her baby with tons of love when she's in a great mood but chuck her baby at the cot allowing her to whine and cry when the mum's mood farked. It sounded awfully wrong to use such a metaphor. Unfortunately I can't think of any. I'm in a super "no-no-no good mood lately". FML, IFY (Fuck my life, I'll fuck yours) That's how bad it is.

 

Farking-serious-heavy-damn-mood-swing-NOW!