Surrounding

Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between two or more people. Friendship is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an association. So basically, it's a kind of bonding that last for long while or a short period. Nothing stays the same way forever unless you puts in effort to maintain it. After all, saying and doing it are completely different. People changes and we adapt to changes, that's adaptation. Adaptation makes us see things crystal clear. I finally understand that kind of feeling when you kept trying and the other party literally fails you like you never exist or worse, allowing you to be trampled over when she has too gone through the same pain. No one likes to be hated without a good cause and I don't enjoyed staying being hated or stabbed in the back. It is a total waste of time and energy when I can step out of this zone and find someone else who cherish me.

I don't wanna feel like this anymore.

They will probably bother to salvage only when the matter has escalated to the worst. Till then, disappointment reaches the brim and spills like water. We can never go back in time but maybe there's a second chance in life. Once it's gone, it's gone. I'm a grown up and I don't wanna say things like "I don't wanna befriend you anymore!" like a childish prick. I prefer letting the nature take its course. For now, I just wanna close my eyes and put the worst aside.

The worst thing in the world isn't being alone. It's being surrounded by people that make you feel like you're alone. There is a difference between giving up and knowing when you have had enough. I know I had enough but not to the point of giving up after so many years.

Anyway, the worst phases is gone. I'll just quit trying and expecting. I'm tired of getting my hopes up and being disappointed. Maybe it's time to sit back and relax, think about the good instead. I'll let nature take its course. It will be mine if it's meant to be.