Silence cycle

"You", "You", "You" and "You", please stop venting anger on me.

 

Do I look like a bin to contain your anger?

Or a vacuum to absorb all the fumes?

 

Yes, yes, you have your stress. I have mine too. Maybe you thought that I am leading a good life, shaking my damn leg as I work from home. Or probably, you assume that I am enjoying every single day taking a short afternoon nap at all time, spending on big shopping sprees sipping coffee at restaurant.

 

I am not the way you thought to be. I have my stress and burden too. True, I work from home (sound sweet and nice maybe). The truth is, I have tons to do. I don't look as free as I appear to be. I am free because I make effort to manage my time. Comparing to the others, I'm on 12 hours shift from Monday to Thursday. I do my monthly accounts, work updates, machinery check, stocktake and ordering. The fact is, I'm doing "homework" every day to ensure I keep up with I have to. I have to produce "results", especially good results.

 

What is the big deal about me crossing my legs and sipping up coffees?

 

I am not sipping expensive coffees or having high-tea all the time. Even if I did, I am spending what I can afford. Most importantly, that is my money, not yours. It is my freedom to do what I want with my own money. No one should ever overwrite my expenditure management. I don't even own a credit card because I don't need it. Even if I ever splurge on facial or travel, I am using my cash on hand and I don't see the rights of you to interfere with my life.

 

Just because you thought that I am earning a lot, and you assume that it gives you the right to make me undergo your language torment, claiming that I earn a lot but I have no experiences in life. You can never imagine how shaky my hands are about to clap thunderously on your face. You are probably still living your butts off parents when I first started work. I started working when I was 14. I worked to pay for my piano, my school fees, my allowances.

 

What about you?

 

If you can't even accomplish half of what I had been through, don't ever compare yourself against me because you don't have the right to. Just because I am not working in an office gives you the right to call me clueless. Fuck you, seriously. I worked in an office before and FYI, different offices. I know the definition of politics and shut the gap of you explaining about it repeatedly like a broken radio. I hate it the way like you did and I chose to left for my passion. Before questioning me about my decision, you should probably question yourself about not having the courage and guts to do what I had done.

 

At least, I know what my passion and goals are. Do you?

 

So, you think I left my previous standing spot with supports from family and friends. No one did. No one ever look up to my job because they think that it is simple and boring without challenges. Everyone assume I am earning a pathetic pay and still having the need to travel from places to places. I knew the tides and storms ahead of me and I decided to move towards my goal.

 

Do you have that guts?

 

For that goal of mine, I was jobless for months (More than 3). Not only was I jobless, I still have to invest money with what I want to do. I waited for opportunities and you had no damn idea how hard my life was. I was living to an extend of being unable to provide support to my family. I never thought myself to be pathetic because I love what I am doing. I love my job and my passion. I am willing to make sacrifices for it.

 

I don't say, I FUCKING DO IT.

 

I gritted my teeth hard to own what I have now. My money doesn't come easy, it's all blood and sweat. I may not be someone who is very successful but I am happy with who and where I am. Stop judging me. Actually you can judge me, but before that, you need a mirror.

 

Everyone wants to have a better life. If you want a better life, work for it instead of stoning at a corner telling yourself you will do it. Saying and doing are totally different. JUST FUCKING DO IT. Stop venting your anger on me just because you assume that I am having a lowly job with extremely good pay, slacking in air-con room and sipping tea. You reap what you sow. It doesn't mean that you will harvest with the same amount of effort you put in. Sometimes, you need a bit of luck or maybe a few opportunities.

 

Failure makes you learn.

Falling get you up on your feet.

Experiences give you the courage to try.

Persistency creates the stairway to success.

 

It is a cycle.

 

Stop venting anger on me just because you think that I lead a comfort life. Show me some effort of yours before you want to lecture me. Kindly lecture me only when you are eligible and have the rights to. My silence doesn't agree to your speech. Amazement at your insensibility caught me in silence and I just don't wanna sink into a deeper conversation with you making myself look ridiculous.