So much

I have so much to say.
I have so much to write.
I have so much to throw.
I have so much to vent.
I have so much to cry.

Unfortunately, it's so much that I don't know what I can do to handle it. I just wanna say...

My life is so stuck.
My life is so fcked up.
My life is so messed.

Here I am, trying to pick it up right from the beginning and see how I can turn it around to make things work. I just wanna try even if it's gonna fail. Well, at least, I can tell myself proudly, "You had done your best and there's nothing for you to look back any more." Then, I'll give myself a big pat on my own back.

Ya right, I don't really understand what I'm saying any more because my brain is all messed up.

Have a nice day and good night.