Shouts

SHOUTS!!!!

You knew it since the beginning, why act clueless? I know it's all about mind game, but why? You have no right to blame me because you choose this path. You chose to begin, chose to hide, chose to lie, chose to change.

Although that's life, but I'm so disappointed in you and swear to never forget. Because this is your true colour.

P.S I'm not scolding anyone, I just blog purely out of being crying upset after all sorts of pain I've been through.

Cloning

I feel this way simply,
I sense this way simply.

Are you working hard to salvage it?

Cloning can be unpredictable, never overlook on it.

Heartfelt words

Life's definitely not something miserable but things around can make you feel worst than that. I had no idea what I'm thinking anymore. I'm neither angry nor sad, but I really clueless about my recent behaviors.

Being sick of everything?
Being indecisive in desiring?
Being uninterested in outing?
Being numb towards happening?

I just feel like staying home, or going school by rotting my life away. I'm filled with worries without knowing my worries. I feel sick about all registration issues especially when comes to financial terms. Everything cost money, everything is ceritifed, everything has been decided. Life sucks and my health collapsed on me.

I had terrible gastric pain, I'm so worry. I don't know what went wrong. I'm frightened honestly. I've been taking aspirins and all sorts of painkiller. All of them no longer works.

I don't feel like taking degree nor NIE course nor music diploma anymore. It's heartfelt words. I can't derive properly to my thoughts. I suddenly have the urge to work permanently; earning quick bucks for my parents. I do.

Is this a right decision?

What is my dream?

Where is my goal?

Have a good day everyone, not being affected by my emotional syndromes.

Jeanne

Priority

This is just some slight updates to my HK portfolio in 2009. I adore every single photos I took in HK. This is just how much my bf dotes one me; bringing me from places to places despite my greediness expand non-stop.

A billion thanks to EPT test of NIE which cost me 150 bucks and other unnecessary fees. They made me know the importance to save. I've been spoilt brat (that's what my bf calls me) for years. All I knew was to whine about different places I wanna travel and all sort of brands I wanted to buy. There he goes, blindly following my wishes and making them comes true.

I learnt a valuable lesson about saving. I learnt to prioritize better. I really feel the way he does saving up to bring me overseas. But this time round, it's not gonna be travelling. It's gonna be for studies, for my future. I know I have my own limits in crossing my desired boundaries. It's going to be a miracle if it does happen. I'll do my best to pursue my music diploma as well, at the same time if possible. Since I can make through for polytechnic, I believe I can make it even further with my own ability. I can't guarantee the best of of everything, but at least I tried.

My parents aren't anyone who is going to support their child for life. I can only decide my own fate. All I wanna is...

To hear remarks, I wanna hear.
To listen encouragement, I wanna listen.
To do everything, I wanna do.

This is life, and pls keep your comments to yourself if it is discouraging. Save it for youself, because I'll definitely not heed your advises.

All the best to my friends in decision you make.
Decide your own fate and decide you future.
Let no one hinder you dreams and move forward each day.

Have a good day.

Cheerios,
Jeanne

Unseen boundary

Does anyone know about jealousy?

It's the world scariest weapon. It can grow over the time and utilized it's power. Such symptons can be hard to detect especially by your own. Sometimes it just release bit by bit unknowingly. Mentally, we all knew jealousy is bad; yet physically, people chose to employ such a bad soul.

It's a terrible soul afterall. Jealousy hurt people around, inflicting invisible harm and pain. It's odourless, you just feel it hard in your bones.

What is the point of being jealous?
What makes you jealous?
What is the objectives of becoming jealoous?

The world is fair and square. There's perfectionist but there will never be the perfect.

You might have the best look in the world, but you have no talents.
You might have great music talent, but you have no inner beauty.
You might have the most valuable inner beauty, yet you might not be the smartest.

It's never ending.

See, this is what I meant about no perfect. People aim to be perfect but it's just so hard to be perfect. There's no point being jealous of the others who are almost of equility. There's bound to be gain and loss. This is where gives and takes come about.

Be true to yourself. Be who you are. Never cross the line beyong boundary, before it's just too late to turn back.

(Above has been blogged as a personal thoughts. It reflects on no one; therefore I hope there isn't any misinterpretation)

Reflection

Valentine's Day and Chinese New Year is approaching. Not too long, not too soon; just that they prefer to clash and bang against one another. This is bad, I need to collect ang bao from my family side before going over to bf's hs to wish his family. There will be no more fabulous meals of the year. I'm so broke. Absolutely broke. Sooner or later, I gonne scrimped and save like Ah Mark.

I felt troubled and sad. I just don't know why I felt this way.

Am I just paranoid?
Am I just sensitive?
I doubt I even know what I'm thinking of.

P.S I felt so aimless first time in 2010.

First day of school, Codes, Life, Reflection, Shopping

Oh no ~ it's the first day of school. I was totally out of nowhere in the class. But overall, it wasn't that bad, as you know, first day is always like this.You always got to face new people until you get used to it. It's either you survived in there or died.

How i wished i'm in other polytechnic whereby you can be in the same class with your best bud for 3 years doing the same experiment, same FYP and same exams together. You can have your daily routine with them having breakfast, lunch, shopping and tea-time. Perhaps you can even go buy chocolate ice-cream, bubble tea and munching off at Subway or MOS Burger. Enjoying fries while chatting and all those funny craps just went on and on.

My first day Problem was horrible. I dislike codings and i had to meddle with codes. It turns me off immediately. I wasn't stressed but sian. Luckily, Yan was beside my class. I can jio her for toilet break. *Whew*

I went to see the SchoolChair for some school issues and went to talk with Elaine. Well, went to her house and took a bus to CWP. We went for dinner at Pastamania. Next, Chris drove her back home.

Chris wanted to treat me to movies, so we went back to CWP since it's the nearest.

On entering the shopping malls, we saw some ah-lians by the stairways. I really don't know what they are thinking. They look really young and they wanted to destroy their beautiful futures instead to continue schooling and had a better prospect.

People always said that some "ah-bengs and ah-lians"
were very good in studies and some turned out to be top in school. Yes, i agree
but the probability is very low. They should work hard for their exams, be a
good mummy boy or girl, enjoy the real school life. They shouldn't be wasting
off their life by blasting loud music from their handphone, smoking in the
public assuming that they look cool with that at their age. It's not a smart
choice totally.

It's a personal reflection only, no means of harm.

As we couldn't find any nice movies, so we went shopping instead. I bought Neutrogena Mask and Moisturizer. I'm so happy ~

Chris sent me home next....